I've probably written about it before.
It's one of those things that I have to be reminded of over and over again. And then it feels like a new thought each time.
It's simple really.
Or is it.
There it is.
Tomorrow (July 25) is 5 months since we passed court.
Last night as Chad and I were falling (literally) into bed, he commented that we should be preparing ourselves mentally for the fact that Kwe may not be home for another 5 months. Ugh. That felt heavy. I wanted to be angry at him for even speaking such nonsense!
Instead, I slept on it.
This morning, Jesus Calling, reminded me that thankfulness is one of the most effective ways to experience God's presence. Which is sort of funny because I was just praying yesterday about how to feel that again.
Some of you may know exactly what I mean. Throughout your faith journey you often have times when your conversation with God seems to flow naturally. He is right there. You feel something different. Other times, its like a uphill struggle. You try to do all the right things (which inherently might be the problem) and you still feel floaty. Disconnected. Alone. It's like a human relationship in some ways I guess. Sometimes you just 'click', other times you crash.
So anyway...I am supposed to be practicing thankfulness. And I have A TON to be thankful for in EVERY. SINGLE. AREA. OF. MY. LIFE.!!
But how much harder it is specifically with Kwe and this ever-twisting adoption process...
So I began brainstorming.
Here are some of the first few things that come to mind. We are thankful:
- that we even know who Kwe is. He is not a number. He is not an orphan. He is our son, we know him, we talk to him, we talk about him, we pray for him.
- that he is in a loving and supportive environment. We couldn't imagine a better place for him anywhere in the world (besides with us, of course!). And reflecting on how all that came together is an entirely separate list of reasons to be thankful.
- that he is healthy. I cannot imagine how much more difficult this would be if he had some illness that threatened his life every day he wasn't here.
- that he is resilient.
- that we have an AMAZING support group. Seriously. We love you guys! :)
- that we serve a God who is so much bigger than any of the challenges we have faced. There is a plan. There is a purpose. There is a fullness.