tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54014553055888896792024-03-14T10:13:53.445-07:00The Pursuit of Life's FullestChad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-18575305025754110802014-10-23T12:49:00.002-07:002014-10-23T12:49:21.976-07:00Home.<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For those of you who haven't followed every detail of our adoption journey (mostly on Facebook), let me just tell you, it's been quite the ride!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you would have laid out every twist and turn for us back on May 25th, 2012 (the day we "officially started the process" & 2 years, 4 months and 23 days before Kwe came home), I'm thinking we wouldn't have been brave enough or strong enough to submit the application. That's the funny thing about not seeing all the way around the mountain (or challenge) in front of us. It's actually not that helpful! It's a strange concept because I've prayed many a prayer asking to see the future or to make the future hurry up and come. But sometimes I realize that seeing into the future would just scare the $&#% so far out of me that I would just freeze (or run into a dark room and hide. It's true).</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway. So here we are. At the end of this part of the journey. Kwe is home. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">KWE IS HOME!!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, how I thought I would never type that!!! The sting in my eyes as I hit the 3rd exclamation point still surprises me. He's home. My sweet boy is home. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We've waited, we've put the personal details of our lives on paper (actually, several trees worth of paper), we've cried, we've been angry (REALLY angry), everything we thought we knew has been challenged and stretched, new knowledge has flooded our brains and so many new relationships have poured into our lives. We survived. We did more than survive. We are stronger. And Kwe is home. :D</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So our 3rd trip to Ghana in paragraph? Ok, go:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just getting to Ghana was a mess starting with all the Delta computers down in GR leading us to missing our connecting flight. Afer a little drama and a lot of stress and 2 flight changes, we finally made it to Ghana...but our luggage did not (shocker). Got it the next night. Didn't really matter to us though because jumped towards us as soon as he saw us walking out of the airport! Picture the biggest smile you have ever seen and multiply it by 25! The VISA interview went ok. 3 hours in the waiting room to find out we (and by "we", I dont necessarily mean Chad and I) were missing a required document. Enter mad rush to get said document from another region in Ghana (a couple hours away) and submit before embassy closes. Then we didnt pass. They need to verify some things etc, etc etc. So then we dont hear anything for an entire week or so and we begin calling and emailing everyone we know to try to figure out what we can do and how we can get approved. On Wednesday the 15th, right as we are making decisions about Chad staying in Ghana or coming home to go back to work, we get the call that we are approved and can bring his passport to the Embassy. We freak out. Scream. Dance. Cry. Waking Kwe up very abruptly from his nap. We RACE to the Embassy in hopes of begging for his Visa to print by Friday so we can come home. We wait. And wait. We are called up. They stayed late so that they could print his Visa right then and save us a trip back. WHAT!?!?! We are told they "never" do this. Don't tell everyone (ssshhhhhh) and we are free to go. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God is faithful. He asked us to have faith, to work hard and trust Him even harder. And He showed up. He showed up big. Oh, if only I could hold on to this faith forever and never doubt again... God is good. ALL the time. In the struggle and in the celebration. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ya. So that just happened! </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So we celebrate, book tickets home and enjoy a few final days in beautiful Accra. So then came (and keeps coming) the continued outpouring of love and support from our community. Friends and family drove from near and far to meet Kwe the day we arrived, we walked home to a kitchen countertop, refrigerator and freezer literally bursting with food, meals have been delivered consistently, a 2nd (and MUCH needed) carseat arrived via UPS yesterday from people we've never met, and we have been loved on and prayed for in more ways than I can even describe (my fingers would literally fall off if I tried to type it all out)! Whew. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ill try to post more pictures this weekend (and different pics than we put on FB for those who follow us there!) but here are a few of my favorites. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVBzDtLbk0nhMiVQfDmymr2X_48t7nsgZH7-R8luchE9ObF2NEnEYRiI-jFJAfX3FoUMbOHwpfm-Hj6-AciVSL5R82x0bwrOc0CH7Y8QizuJ3lpv2Kgec2UC4ftPzD152yrfP9DH18X_s/s1600/FamilyPicture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVBzDtLbk0nhMiVQfDmymr2X_48t7nsgZH7-R8luchE9ObF2NEnEYRiI-jFJAfX3FoUMbOHwpfm-Hj6-AciVSL5R82x0bwrOc0CH7Y8QizuJ3lpv2Kgec2UC4ftPzD152yrfP9DH18X_s/s1600/FamilyPicture.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Landed in Grand Rapids airport!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEingEjdpSZytc7B5C-GmR_IO_q0WEzR040YgVtUBqp8clEi5gWR81Q8MjLa6GytBeYJJ0odBTotcH3W3psWSxjmYUU00KOkZw_kZDKVvk3GQ_yEd6BpcjJUy85-W4Q1YfRlmWHW1MMIYcCz/s1600/IMG_0563.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEingEjdpSZytc7B5C-GmR_IO_q0WEzR040YgVtUBqp8clEi5gWR81Q8MjLa6GytBeYJJ0odBTotcH3W3psWSxjmYUU00KOkZw_kZDKVvk3GQ_yEd6BpcjJUy85-W4Q1YfRlmWHW1MMIYcCz/s1600/IMG_0563.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Playing in our backyard!</div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-33276106299921997922014-10-16T15:00:00.003-07:002014-10-16T15:00:59.103-07:00Surprise post from ChadI write this with lots of excitement bc I/we have been a part of God's amazing miracle!<br />
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I sat up all night Tuesday night pondering, praying, crying, pleading (wrestling) with God and of course listening to my favorite worship songs. It was getting really tough because I was having to make a tough decision. If we didn't get word by Wednesday night I was gonna have to make the call if I was staying with Shandra here in Africa until Kwe's visa was ready or going back to the states by myself. I have been out of work for 2 weeks and I'm not getting paid because I've used up all my vacation time. Plus we have exhausted the money we brought here with us.<br />
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So, I finally went to sleep late into the morning feeling exhausted and I placed my trust in Gods hands knowing there wasn't anything I could do. I fell asleep saying, "God, it was you who put us on this journey and brought us to this point. We feel stuck and have run out of money and time, by our standards. I know you're in the business of making miracles and changing lives so I'm pleading for you to help us."<br />
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Wednesday we go about our day as if we aren't going to hear anything, but still hopeful we might. I was emailing my boss about what to do for work and starting to look at flights home.<br />
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Then it happened!!!!! At 3:30pm yesterday (1130am @ home) we got the call that we were approved and could bring in his passport to get the visa printed. She said if we could make it by 5pm we could still turn it in that day. I raced upstairs to our room to tell Shandra! Now looking back, not sure if I actually hit any steps, sort of felt like I was floating! We shared our freak out moment, crying and holding each other in disbelief. Mind you, at that moment Shandra was wrapping up an interview for staffing for HQ and Kwe was napping. Her boss Andy was on video and freaked out and said, "Whoa, what?!? What just happened?" Shandra explained and he finishes by saying, "I feel like I'm in the birthing room!" Love that response!<br />
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So, we raced to get changed and find transportation to the embassy before 5pm. We made it there by 412pm. Got to the door and the security guard started giving us a hard time about getting in. He stated that they were closed and we didn't have an appointment. We said, no we don't have an appt but we have a return slip and we received a phone call that we were approved and could drop off our sons passport to get his visa printed. They continued to give us a hard time and we argued/advocated for our case and told them we would only be a minute as we were only dropping off the visa.<br />
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They finally gave in and let us through!!!<br />
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As we got inside the gentlemen behind the counter said our counselor was in a meeting and we would need to wait for her. Of course nothing is quick and easy and besides we were excited to have been told we passed so we were more than willing to wait as long as necessary.<br />
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Our counselor finished her meeting and we saw her working with 2 others holding a file and messing around on the computer. Meanwhile, 45 minutes had gone by and the guards were passing by every minute getting frustrated that we were holding them there after their required time.<br />
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We were beginning to ponder that they were either questioning the validity of his passport or printing his visa right then.<br />
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Well, she called us up at 530pm and said my colleague and I stayed late and went ahead and printed your visa today. BAH, say what!? Can you repeat that because it sounded like you said you just printed our visa? Mind you, we have been told that it takes 2 days to print the visa. So, we had another cry and hug it out session because we had just witnessed a miracle from God!!! Not only had we gotten approval but we got Kwe's visa printed 2 hours after receiving our phone call. Wow! Thank you God!<br />
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So, we returned to our hotel overwhelmed an overjoyed and starting sending out notices and trying to talk to our agent about getting flights home. Sadly, we were a few hours short of being able to leave that night, but we got booked to be on a plane leaving Friday night. This will put us getting back to GR around 1030pm Saturday (pending we can't find a better flight from one of our layovers).<br />
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Thank you all for your continued prayers and support through this whole process! Thanks for sticking with us, loving us, and holding us up when we were feeling down and out! There are so many things we could thank you all for but that would be a book. Blessings to each one of you that have been a part of our journey!<br />
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Love,<br />
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Chad, Shandra, and Kwe<br />
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<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-86276416812212976322014-10-16T06:36:00.000-07:002014-10-16T06:36:03.415-07:00We (as in all 3 of us) are coming home!KWE'S COMIN' HOME!!!!!!!!<br />
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For those of you who dont follow our adoption journey on Facebook, I promise to provide all the details as soon as i am back home and have my head on straight again (or maybe ill just settle for having it at all).Ive already started the post, so I can assure you it will come!<br />
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The important thing to know now is that we have experienced a miricle!! Just as we were starting to make plans for Chad to go home and me to stay, just as the my tears were begining to dry from that very thought, we got the call! We know how Kwe'ls visa and all his documents are ready. We leave tomorrow (Friday) night and are currently set to land in GR on Saturday the 18th.<br />
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Here is our flight info as of now: DL433 lands at 10:30 pm on the 18th. We have a very long layover in ATL so if there is anything else that opens up to get us home sooner we will definitely let you know!<br />
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Hope to see you soon!Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-27294132928013866882014-09-30T18:12:00.001-07:002014-09-30T18:12:06.380-07:00A very important invitation<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Can you believe it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Only 5 more sleeps until we see Kwe!!!! (Only 4 really because you know "sleep" on a plane is really just a tease). </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here are the final steps:</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Fly to Ghana (we leave GR this Saturday afternoon, arrive in Accra Sunday afternoon)</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. Hug Kwe till his head almost pops off</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Attend VISA interview on Tuesday the 7th (pray we pass the interview)</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Pick up printed VISA a few days later (pray it doesn't have any errors on it)</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Hang out with Kwe in the capital for a few days and bond as a family of 3 for the first time on our own.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6. Fly home to all you crazy kids!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of step 6....We are very excited to invite you ALL to the airport to meet Kwe for the first time! We would love for this to be a time of celebration and fun. We anticipate hanging out there for an hour or so and if Kwe is doing well we will move the party to a local restaurant for an early dinner. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you are planning on meeting at the airport or would just like to track our flight, here is the info:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Delta flight: 1283</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Atlanta to Grand Rapids</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Date: Sunday, October 12</span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Landing time: 2:10 PM</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">See you there!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ok, I really don't want to write this last part. So Ill start it with a long, drawn out disclaimer and finally get to the point somewhere a few paragraphs down. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Friends and family. You have been amazing. You have supported us through prayer, through long talks over coffee, through cards and emails and Facebook comments. You have donated items for the organization we have come to love (CORM) and to each of our 18 yard sales. You have given us so many gifts: practical ones like shoes and toys and books and really amazing, thoughtful ones like hand painted art and your own precious childhood belongings. You have celebrated each step along the way with us.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You. Have. Been. Amazing. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are truly blessed by how God has shaped our environment and our support group. We have learned an encyclopedia's worth of information through this process but one of the most precious things has been about how much we are loved by you all and by God. We have just never experienced community and support and love like we have through this journey.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, I should get to the point.... Many of you keep asking us what else we need and how else you can help. We keep trying to change the subject and convince you that we have everything. BUT you are persistent people!!! You just don't quit! So, besides coming to the airport and celebrating with us and meeting this awesome kid we keep telling you about....we have (somewhat reluctantly) included a few other options below. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PLEASE DONT FEEL OBLIGATED. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- <u>Prayers</u> for safe travels, Kwe's heart being ready for all the love he is about to experience, that we pass the VISA interview and that we make it through immigration easily. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Wanna help us with <u>meals</u>? A sweet, sweet friend has set up an account for us on <a href="http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=MOJA0651" target="_blank">TakeThemAMeal</a> (Name: Steininger, Password: Kwe). This will be crazy helpful as I</span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> just can't even begin to predict what its going to be like around here </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> (especially when Chad goes back to work after that first week). </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">- Kwe also has an <a href="http://amzn.com/w/4GRTCWZZSDAY" target="_blank">Amazon Wish List</a> of <u>things</u> that he could still use. It's really been more like a list I've kept over the last few years to help me not forget things..The items on here are just ideas and don't necessarily have to be exact or even purchased online. We can update the list if we get things that are from somewhere else. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So there. I hope you're happy people!! :)</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love,</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Chad, Shandra and Kwe</span>Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-35284248827741995292014-09-21T07:41:00.000-07:002014-09-21T07:41:11.248-07:00Just. So. Close.We could be in Ghana in less than two weeks!!<br />
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TWO WEEKS!!!<br />
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Let me break this down for ya!<br />
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- Sometime this week: Kwe goes for his medical evaluation and then back 3 days later for the TB test reading.<br />
- Wednesday the 24th: Our Power of Attorney picks up the VISA packet from the Embassy in Ghana.<br />
- Thursday the 25th: Once we have confirmation that the packet has been picked up, we email the embassy requesting our VISA interview appointment to be scheduled on Monday October 6.<br />
- Also, Thursday the 25th: We put holds on 2 flights from Grand Rapids to Ghana and 3 flights from Ghana to Grand Rapids! :)<br />
- The week of the 29th: Try not to go crazy. Finish Kwe's room. Make sure we have all the basic things he will need (someone just reminded me that he will need a toothbrush. Seriously. Thank you.) (don't worry, just bought him underwear (side note: they are SO little and adorable!!!), oh, and socks). <i>Thought to self: that was a lot of parenthesis. </i> Collect, organize, pack donations for CORM and Glovo. Check and double check that we have ALL the 500 million documents we need to take for the interview. Figure out what to do with the dogs. Figure out what to do with the house (that is currently on the market)......I could do this all day people, but you get the point!<br />
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Our hope is to fly out of Grand Rapids on Friday October 3 and to be home on Saturday, October 11. We will publicly post our flight information once its set so that you all can be waiting to great him the minute he becomes a US Citizen!<br />
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<b><u>Note: </u></b>We sincerely want to extend this invitation to all our family, friends and support systems. We literally wouldn't be who we are right now (and quite possibly wouldn't have made it at all) without each of you. This time at the airport will be such a sweet, sweet celebration. No more paperwork, no more "what if's", no more "we are in the process of..." - it will be finished. You will be celebrating with us as Kwe walks into his new family, new community, new country, new life.<br />
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We will take those next few weeks to "cocoon" with him and slowly introduce him to all the things this new life will entail. New food, weather, dogs as pets, grocery store, everything! It will be critical for us to maintain a structured and simple schedule where only we, as he new parents, are meeting his basic needs for food, bathing and cuddling. We will laugh with him as he excitedly explores it all and support him when he grieves all that he has lost. Again. You see, we have to remind ourselves regularly that while this is all so beautiful and exciting to us, it is for him another loss of everything he has ever known and loved. Adoption is the way that God makes Beauty from Ashes. A way we get to experience hope and grace. But, we must remember that it is still a product of trauma and loss. Loss of biological family, loss of cultural community, loss of friends, real and raw loss. He will grieve and we will love. We can't know when and how this might all come out but by establishing that we are his parents and that that is different than all the caregivers he has had before, that we will never abandon or give up on him, that we will make sure he is provided for and never hungry again...by doing this well, we will provide a safe and stable foundation for him up to connect, bond, attach and then develop strong self esteem, hope, confidence and joy.<br />
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So while we will want so desperately to share those first few days and weeks with all of you, we hope you can understand just how important this period of transition is for Kwe and his future. Please call, text, or email us! We will keep everyone posted on how he is doing and when he is ready to start playing with his new friends!<br />
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Again, thank you for all the support and love you have poured out on us! The time for celebrating and dancing and crying happy tears is so close! Go stock up on tissues people!!! :)<br />
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<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-88461943112100820752014-08-26T04:43:00.000-07:002014-08-26T04:43:15.288-07:00Saying "yes" (again)If you have read our blog for long, you probably know that we try to have an attitude of "yes" in our lives. We explore options that present themselves to us and rarely discount something until we have checked it out. For us, that is how we try to be faithful to God's direction in our lives...as we rarely experience clear signs, etc.<br />
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So when this conversation came up multiple times over a couple weeks it finally stood out as something we should explore. We explored it and have decided to take the steps towards putting our house on the market!<br />
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WHAT?!?!?<br />
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I know! I am shocked too!<br />
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We bought this house 5 years ago thinking it would be our 10-15 year plan. We envisioned paying it off, selling it and using that money to pay <strike>off</strike> down our student loans. But what we have recently learned is that it is a sellers market right now in GR. There are not many homes for sale, a lot of interested buyers (bouncing back from the recent recession) and our neighborhood is in demand because all the positive change in last few years!<br />
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SO, we figured, what does it hurt?!? We will throw a rather high number on it, (what we would need to pay off a big enough chunk of loans to make it 'feel' worth it) and see what happens. Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe no one will be interested. And that is ok too.<br />
<br />
But maybe, just maybe, this house was an investment and not our forever home. So we say 'yes'. We take one more step and we watch.<br />
<br />
If it does sell we will hustle to find an apartment again for a while. This is the part I am really excited about. Although I love my house, it is a LOT of work to keep up. Cleaning, yard work, projects, cleaning, painting, re-doing projects that we did 5years ago, cleaning... The American Dream turned out to be a heck of a lot more sacrifice of time than I imagined it would be 5 years ago.<br />
<br />
We have been talking a lot lately about the simplicity of a minimalist lifestyle. Selling most of our possessions and downsizing into a 1000 sq foot apartment downtown is incredibly appealing (and extremely hard to actually make happen- apparently we arent the only ones with this idea). Less to clean, less to manage, less to worry about.<br />
<br />
What about Kwe? We have heard that a few times as we have discussed this plan with our closest friends and to be honest that was one of our biggest worries when we first started talking. But what we quickly realized is that Kwe needs us. Not a big house, not a fenced in back yard, not 100 toys. He needs our attention, our full attention, our time, our passion for enjoying life! Our hope is that by greatly reducing our stress at home we will have much more time and energy (physically and emotionally) to give to him. We both have busy and often stressful careers and that wont change when Kwe comes home. But by reducing our financial stresses and our home-owner responsibilities, our time 'home' will be fully focused on our family.<br />
<br />
So. We are racing to finish up some projects so that we can get it on the market and hopefully move before Kwe comes home. That way, he never really knows the difference and doesnt have to experience another major transition in his life right away.<br />
<br />
If you know of anyone interested in a beautiful 3 bedroom 1.5 bathroom home within walking distance to 2 parks, a library and a bakery, let me know! ;)<br />
<br />
<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-29406788975657348662014-08-05T17:38:00.001-07:002014-08-05T17:40:18.365-07:00Last, first and free<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today is my last. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Tomorrow is my first. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And a few days ago we were set free.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;">TODAY</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;">I broke a new record!!! My first day at Arbor Circle was April 25, 2011. I worked there full-time for 3 years, 3 months and 11 days. And while I will stay on contractually (very part-time) for a while yet, I am not "there" any more. I learned an incredible amount about myself and my "style", about some of the things that hold families and youth down and about the challenges that keeps support services from doing all they have the capacity to do. It changed me. I now have a lot more experience, a healthy amount of skepticism and a stronger (maybe unbreakable) passion to keep pushing forward.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">TOMORROW</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">Tomorrow I start something new! The next chapter. I <strike>will be</strike> am the Director of HQ, a drop in center for youth who are experiencing homelessness, who have run away or who are just struggling. The dream of starting something from the ground up, pouring my vision and passion (my everything) into it, being a part of something big that was going to have a lasting impact, has been just that: a dream. Maybe something that would happen in 10 or 20 years. Maybe in another country. But here I am. People believe in me. A lot of people. I cant even describe how that feels. I am humbled...so honored....so shocked by it all. I have moments where I freak out a little bit and ask myself when everyone around me is going to realize that I cant do it. I had just had one of those moments before I read the Jesus Calling devotion today, which told me: </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">"Rest in My sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yourself out by worrying about whether you can cope with the presures. Keep looking to me and communicating with Me, as we walk thru this together."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">I dont have to be perfect. I dont even have to pretend like I am! I can just put my all into every day knowing that every step of my life has been led, at every turn I have been molded and shaped and I wont be alone now (or tomorrow!). Interviewing for this job was one of the biggest tests of my faith. I'd been fully on one side of the pendulum: I wanted it SO bad, it was my dream, what else would I do... and the other side: maybe I shouldnt even apply, I probably won't get it anyway, I don't know if I'm ready. Then, as the interview process came closer I found the middle. I gave up control. <i>No, really. I did!!! Why is that so hard to believe?? :) </i>I felt so at peace. I gave it to God and told Him I would honestly live either way. :) If I got it I would step 100 million percent into it...if I didnt, i would look forward to what He was preparing me for. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">Deep breath. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">Then I got it!!!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">And the "crazy train" leaves the station tomorrow! Woohoo!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">And- Chad's job is going so great too! He absolutely loves it. He is learning a ton, being challenged (personally and professionally) and gaining confidence ever day. I am so proud of him for taking the risk and working hard!!!</span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">Ok, so adoption update: basically it continues to drag on at the pace of a elderly snail. Last Thursday we mailed out the 3rd packet of supporting documents to US immigration, in response to the Notice of Intent to Deny Kwe immigration. Our Officer received it yesterday. Maybe we will hear something in the next week.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">The day after we sent it, Chad sent me a text sharing a "God download". I dont know if you have ever experienced that but for me, it's in the stillness (when I can actually figure out how to make my mind pause) and its usually a simple word or a few words that just enter my mind. There's nothing and then there's something. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">So anyway, this is it. It touched us so deeply that we couldn't not share it with you! Enjoy!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">"I have Kwe in my arms, right where I need him to be. Have peace knowing he's in my care. I'm instilling in him character and a passion for my people. I need him here for a time such as this to learn and grow. The future for him will be much more brighter because of this! Rest assured my child for I know the plans I have for him and for you!"</span></div>
<br /></div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-37795359932723860622014-07-24T04:51:00.001-07:002014-07-24T04:51:14.426-07:00One wordToday something just hit me.<br />
<br />
I've probably written about it before.<br />
<br />
It's one of those things that I have to be reminded of over and over again. And then it feels like a new thought each time.<br />
<br />
It's simple really.<br />
<br />
Or is it.<br />
<br />
....<br />
<i>Thankfulness</i><br />
....<br />
<br />
There it is.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow (July 25) is 5 months since we passed court.<br />
<br />
Last night as Chad and I were falling (literally) into bed, he commented that we should be preparing ourselves mentally for the fact that Kwe may not be home for another 5 months. Ugh. That felt heavy. I wanted to be angry at him for even speaking such nonsense!<br />
<br />
Instead, I slept on it.<br />
<br />
This morning, <i>Jesus Calling</i>, reminded me that thankfulness is one of the most effective ways to experience God's presence. Which is sort of funny because I was just praying yesterday about how to feel that again.<br />
<br />
Some of you may know exactly what I mean. Throughout your faith journey you often have times when your conversation with God seems to flow naturally. He is right there. You feel something different. Other times, its like a uphill struggle. You try to do all the right things (which inherently might <b>be</b> the problem) and you still feel floaty. Disconnected. Alone. It's like a human relationship in some ways I guess. Sometimes you just 'click', other times you crash.<br />
<br />
So anyway...I am supposed to be practicing thankfulness. And I have A TON to be thankful for in EVERY. SINGLE. AREA. OF. MY. LIFE.!!<br />
<br />
But how much harder it is specifically with Kwe and this ever-twisting adoption process...<br />
<br />
So I began brainstorming.<br />
<br />
Here are some of the first few things that come to mind. We are thankful:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>that we even know who Kwe is. He is not a number. He is not an orphan. He is our son, we know him, we talk to him, we talk about him, we pray for him.</li>
<li>that he is in a loving and supportive environment. We couldn't imagine a better place for him anywhere in the world (besides with us, of course!). And reflecting on how all that came together is an entirely separate list of reasons to be thankful.</li>
<li>that he is healthy. I cannot imagine how much more difficult this would be if he had some illness that threatened his life every day he wasn't here. </li>
<li>that he is resilient.</li>
<li>that we have an AMAZING support group. Seriously. We love you guys! :)</li>
<li>that we serve a God who is so much bigger than any of the challenges we have faced. There is a plan. There is a purpose. There is a <u>fullness</u>.</li>
</ul>
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Help us add to this list! Comment here on the shared link on FB! </div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-28655702354309016382014-07-20T15:14:00.000-07:002014-07-20T15:14:23.412-07:00Life: Ever movingOnce again, it's been about a hundred years since the last post.<br />
<br />
This time, i'm not apologizing! :)<br />
<br />
Summer is always busy for us, but this is the first summer since Chad and I were married that he hasnt had to work weekends. This has really freed us up to not feeling so hectic and I am continually learning how to relax and just be.<br />
<br />
We have gone to weddings, vacationed in West Virginia, had family and friends visit and so much more. It has been good. And there is still so much left!<br />
<br />
Kwe is doing so great in his new home in Ghana. Since moving him in March we have gotten regular updates and have Skyped with him a couple times a month. The blessing that this is still overwhelms me at times. If he was still at the orphanage we would have had little to no communication and we may not even know if he was ok on a day to day basis. What we have been given is rare and beautiful.<br />
<br />
We are currently waiting on Immigration (I-600) Approval. We submitted our application at the end of April and the requested additional evidence arrived to our Officer's desk on July 7. If we are approved, we could have as little as a month until he comes home. Here is the breakdown:<br />
- We get I-600 approval<br />
- Those documents are sent to the Embassy in Ghana (2 weeks)<br />
- We request a day for our VISA Interview (the last thing Kwe needs to leave the country)<br />
- WE FLY TO GHANA!<br />
<br />
We are going to be present for the VISA interview and represent ourselves for the best chance at passing.<br />
<br />
So that's where things are at! Still praying for July 25th to be a big day and asking God to bring him home this August. Please join us! Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-25098114695866929402014-06-01T13:40:00.001-07:002014-06-01T13:40:21.087-07:00A quick adoption updateThis feels long overdue. So for that, I apologize. I could say that I have been SO busy or something something but I think I have just been getting a bit better at slowing down. Accepting demanding a touch less from myself EVERY day! We have been trying to enjoy this beautiful West Michigan spring/summer and have actually allowed ourselves some days of doing nothing.<br />
<br />
So, since it's another beautiful day here, this will be short and sweet! :)<br />
<br />
So on April 26th we mailed out our i600 application which starts the US government's investigation into Kwe's orphan status. Essentially its their way of making sure everything is legit and that he is actually an orphan. This is an important step as many countries define things differently and less developed countries dont often have the same resources to pursue thorough investigations. We expected to receive a Request for Evidence (RFE) as most people do and particularly because we had submitted our application before we received his birth certificate. On May 23 we received the RFE requesting 4 additional documents (but not the birth certificate that we were still waiting on... which was weird). They are pretty specific requests that will require very specific documents from our POA in Ghana. We have since learned that the Immigration Officer we were assigned to has a reputation for being specific and thorough. Which is great! I truly would rather have that than someone who didn't care about their job. It is funny though, as we have literally fought every step of the way...why wouldn't we get a tough officer too! :)<br />
<br />
We are staying positive though and having faith that the documents will be collected this month and submitted by the deadline, and that we will receive quick approval after turning them in.<br />
<br />
I read a book recently about praying specific and clear prayers. It makes you have a different kind of faith. Well, we have paid for Kwe's room and board and school through July 25. So I am praying that we dont have to pay more and that we will be heading back to pick him up then. It seems impossible...so it's exactly something only God could do!<br />
<br />
I personally continue to practice saying that God's will and timing is perfect and not allowing myself to get caught up in talk about my personal plans and hopes. It is a challenging balance though because we have to be ready for him to be home as soon as August but also be ok with it taking longer. So we have been researching schools and will turn in our application for our first choice tomorrow, in faith that he will be home and ready to start school in time. There is a long waiting list and its not easy to get in so we decided it was best to apply now. Even as I write this I question my own need for a plan b school. If my faith is big enough to apply for a spot in the school that Chad and I both believe he is supposed to go to...then it should be big enough to not need a contingency plan. Right?<br />
<br />
So there's the update! Praying there is more positive news to share soon!<br />
<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-6568113622434882652014-05-05T16:42:00.000-07:002014-05-05T16:42:07.687-07:002 Choices<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2 choices.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's what you get.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's pretty much the story of my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have believed, for as long as I can remember, that we all have two choices in life. When bad things happen, we can generally respond in one of two ways:</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) we can allow them to define us, to cause a change in our course, to break us down, to reduce our hope; </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) we can use them as fuel, propelling us forward to something we cant yet see, believing that something of value can (eventually) evolve, that they themselves can in fact be the source of hope. </span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have often shared that perspective when I am telling my "life story", specifically when I get to the part where I am about 15 years old. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I was struggling with my first serious episode of depression; questioning why certain things had happened to me, confused about how I never quite seemed to "fit", grasping for what the purpose in my life was. I wanted to run away...maybe not even exist anymore. It's part of why I went into social work.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What happened next I can only describe as a "God moment".</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt something take over me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was on my knees on my bedroom floor, crying. Then I experienced the first real sense of 'power' over my life that I had ever felt. Not only did I now know that there was, somewhere, a purpose for what I had endured, that some beauty could come from these ashes, and that, as cliche as it sounds, there was a light at the end of the tunnel BUT ALSO, I knew in my core that I got to choose between two roads.</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) I could become hateful, angry and unmotivated. I could easily play the victim card like I saw others do. I could continue to give away my power, one choice at a time;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) OR I could forgive and then fight with everything I had to do and be something different. To be better because of it! To not let my past win.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's free will! I get to choose. Only I can choose. </span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So why am I sharing this?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See, what 99.9% of you reading this don't know, is that back in November, I began struggling through the new darkest depression I have faced. It came fast and it hit hard. Very hard. It lodged itself deeper into my life than ever before. It's shaken me to my core and has had ripple effects across my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And while that whole story is probably too long to ever share on this blog (but maybe someday in the book Chad thinks I'm going to write!) I hope that for a moment you can put aside any judgements you may have about the reality of depression or it's cause or how someone who seems like they have such a great life could possibly have ANYTHING to be depressed about....and just hear my story. Maybe we can talk more about those things later. :) Thanks.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So specifically relating to our adoption, the weight of this wait (see what I did there?!?!? Bahahaha) has been extra difficult since coming back from our trip in March. I have found myself saying to God, "Come on, I'm dyin' here!". (Now, to be clear, I haven't been lying about the peace and the trust I've felt. Seriously! Maybe it's another juxtaposition?)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But the heaviness has been real and the wars waging inside of me have been fierce. As I've been climbing out of the fog, Ive been asking familiar questions. What is the purpose of my life? Is my life what I wanted it to be? Have I gotten stuck (personally, professionally, spiritually, relationally)? What is God calling me to do next and how do I know that it's His voice and not just one of my own natural instincts to fight or run? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why God, is this taking SO long? Seriously. I'm dyin' here."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So where is this going???</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I havent been to a morning service at Madison in a long time. Yesterday, we went to the early service and I was excited! I felt so alive. And I knew why as soon as Pastor Beelen explained that today's message was about trusting God's timing (You can hear the entire sermon from 5/4/14 <a href="http://www.madisonsquarechurch.org/sermon-recordings/" target="_blank">here</a>).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He explained that if it feels like God is taking His sweet time, "committing divine malpractice", then we can be sure of one thing: that we dont have all the facts! We just cant see as deep and as wide as He can. In my arrogance, I impose my schedule and if I continue to do that, I will continue to struggle to feel loved by Him. Funny how our ability to feel love and belonging and purpose can be so tainted by our own expectations.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He went on to say that we really only have two choices: to trust or to die. Well, that seemed a little extreme. But then he told a story of a shepherd in Whales who, to keep his sheep from dying from a fast-spreading parasite plague, had to completely submerge them in a antiseptic bath. As he held their entire body under water for those few seconds, the sheep thrashed violently, eyes-wide, certain that they were dying. There was literally no way for the shepherd to communicate that he was actually saving their lives! The communication intelligence gap was just too great.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How true is that for me? And maybe for you???</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every now and then I feel like I'm drowning. Like it's one baby step from being too much. But yesterday I was reminded that I have a choice. I can trust or I can die.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can continue to say to God "Hurry, I'm dying here!!!" and feel the weight of my own panic pull me down further or I can say "I trust." Here. In this minute, in this second, in this millisecond if that's all I can do.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A weight lifted from me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love explaining the adoption process and telling people where we are and what has to happen next.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I need to make a change. I can't continue to answer the question, "when is Kwe coming home?" with the same weary, discouraged, robotic timeline description. THAT is what's killing me! Instead I choose life and trust!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I dont know what God is cooking up. I'll probably never see all the pieces of the puzzle. Geez, the outline is barely together! I'm out of the darkest part though and I do think I'm stronger because of it. I choose to be stronger. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I do know that if this had been smooth and easy and fast, I wouldnt have met all these amazing people, I wouldnt have quite as clear a picture of who our TRUE friends and family are and I certainly wouldnt be learning as much about myself, about dependence, about patience... or about trust.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-32211093169599524862014-04-30T05:37:00.002-07:002014-04-30T05:37:31.763-07:00A fat lip & update<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I am sitting here typing this long overdue post, I cant help but start by sharing my pathetic fortune. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Last night (24 hrs before my agency's biggest fundraiser of the year), I carelessly bend down to pick something up from the floor right as my "crazy" dog flails himself into the air like a dolphin. All 9 pounds of him thrust straight up with the energy of every muscle in his body. He knew he was about to go on a walk and he was imploding with excitement. His head, the density of titanium, met my lower lip and teeth perfectly. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My brain shook.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Things went black for a millisecond. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I screeched.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blood in the sink, I babied my face the entire night and was a little more pathetic than was necessary. This morning I woke up the proud owner of a blue bottom lip! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At least it will match the fabulous blue button-up I am wearing tonight with my black suit! Thank goodness for tinted lip gloss...sigh.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyway. I digress. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You're here for an adoption update!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So you may remember that there was a bit of a time crunch for getting the corrected adoption decree and filing our immigration paperwork (i600). Our pre-application was set to expire on April 27th, 18 months after originally filing it. Yup, it was that long ago. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While we <i>could</i> file without the decree, it really wouldn't look good... essentially we would be asking our government to approve the immigration of someone that we couldn't even prove we had any legal connection too. Our case would be flagged immediately and we would be sent a Request for Evidence asking for this additional information and giving us a deadline to provide it or our case would be denied. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>2 weeks prior </u>to our deadline we still didn't have it and we weren't even completely sure whose desk it was sitting on/under/around. As I begin typing yet another email to our caseworker, my fingers just stop. I suddenly recognize the theme that has been swirling around my life... in my devotions, what i am reading, what my friends are saying: </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">God: <i>Do you believe that I Am good? </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Me: Yes</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>If you truly believe that, then you know I love you and full trust would be the naturally flowing result.</i> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Um, I guess so.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Silence.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If God is good (in the word's fullest meaning), then I have to believe that He loves me completely, that He is for me, that His plan is perfect, and then trust comes. If i cannot trust, i cannot say He is good. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is nothing else my caseworker can say to give me peace. Its just human words after all. I will not send one more email. I will not. I will trust. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>1 week away</u>- no update. My fingers twitch at the thought of sending another email. Just to check in. Just quick. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I will trust. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I start to feel that familiar peace creeping in. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Wednesday the 23rd.</u> To be safe, we need to mail it out by Friday to ensure it's received by the deadline. It's ok. I have peace. I almost feel a laugh starting to gather deep in my stomach. God is going to bring this together right at the last minute!!! Isn't He!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Thursday the 24th</u>. I check my email constantly, but I feel calm. God, what are you doing?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> 1pm- It's 5pm in Ghana. The end of the work day. Meh, we've gotten updates "after hours" before. We still have time...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> 4:30 pm- still nothing. It's not looking good. Its already 8:30 in Ghana. ...We still have time. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> 4:53pm - a new email comes through. "It is my pleasure to forward this adoption decree to you!"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">WHAT?!?!? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">WHAT?!?!?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sigh... just in time. God has done it again. He keeps proving He is here. Keeps proving His power. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><u>Friday the 25th</u>. (Did you catch that? THE TWENTY-FIFTH!!! Seriously, this is getting crazy!) Exactly 2 months after passing court, our i600 application is mailed. It will arrive to USCIS on Monday the 26th. One day before our case expires.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, that's it! That's our life! Pretty freaking cool (and totally crazy), huh?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are now waiting for Kwe's Ghanaian birth certificate. Ya know, the one that lists us as his parents! ;). Once that is submitted to USCIS they will begin their investigation to determine if he meets the criteria for being an "orphan" and immigrating to the US. Then Ghana gives their final approval and we move to the last stage: Exit VISA.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #274e13; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I feel like so many things have come together "just in time" throughout this adoption process. From finances to paperwork, from court hearings to caregivers. I am starting to wonder what Kwe will finally come home "just in time" for....</span>Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-69006074609639954862014-04-02T13:04:00.001-07:002014-04-02T13:05:00.559-07:00Urgent prayer request<p>Since i am now such a strong believer in the power of group prayer, we ask you all to join us tonight.</p>
<p>As I sit in yet another airport (i fear its becoming my second home) i received a brief update. Not good news. The judge has still not signed our corrected adoption decree. Its my understanding that even after this happens it still must go on to higher officials for approval...again.  Essentially meaning that we haven't made any progress (with the exception of moving Kwe) since 2/25. Each minor error seems to be another month or two in delays. </p>
<p>Our POA is going back tomorrow to check on the status again and we are persistently taking our request to God that it be ready when he arrives. </p>
<p>Thanks for the continued support! We'll keep your posted!</p>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-67057919159399530212014-03-30T17:35:00.001-07:002014-03-30T17:35:31.909-07:00It's ImpossibleMaybe I haven't said it out loud but my brain has thought it...a hundred times (...ok fine, more than a hundred). Things have seemed impossible at many points throughout this journey.<br />
<br />
1. God leading us to international adoption<br />
2. Not taking a single dollar of debt yet having just what we needed. For. Every. Single. Invoice.<br />
3. Getting a referral after Ghana banned adoptions<br />
4. Passing court after Ghana banned adoptions<br />
<br />
But here we are. Just a few days home from our second trip to Ghana. And Im no longer thinking about <i>that</i> kind of impossible. I have more peace in my heart than I have ever known. The stress and uncertainty has been replaced by excitement and intrigue.<br />
<br />
The kind of impossible I want to talk about now relates to my gross inadequacies at describing what exactly happened over the past few weeks.<br />
<br />
Note: While there, we received some very direct words of caution about how much we share publicly about the details of our adoption experience. While mostly I feel like this is just Satan trying to keep us from singing our praises, I do realize and respect that the adoption climate is very intense right now...so extreme that legal adoptions are being confused for illegal child trafficking. People engaging in processing adoptions are often in danger physically and professionally. I didnt realize how serious this was until I saw it for myself. So having said that, please know that my desire to be transparent will be bridled in order to ensure the safety of Kwe and those who are helping us bring him home.<br />
<br />
Back to the story. We arrived in Ghana around 8:30pm local time on a Sunday and were warmly greeted by the founders and directors of <a href="http://www.cityofrefugeoutreach.com/" target="_blank">City of Refuge</a>. You can read some of their amazing story on the website. We hung out on Monday and got a tour and met the staff and kids. Tuesday we went with our POA to the Attorney's office to review the Adoption Decree. We had been told the document was complete but that there was an error and therefore it may not be adequate. We prayed hard that we would be able to move Kwe (by this time we were sure COR was the right place for him). To carefully sum up what happened next, ill just say that in Ghana, us legally being his parents didnt give us the cut-and-dry rights and protections that we have in the US. It was a surreal, extremely stressful and scary and we pray that these new traumas will not bury themselves into Kwe's beautiful soul but that he will heal and be stronger for all that he has survived.<br />
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On our way to City of Refuge...it was an emotionally draining day for everyone.</div>
<br />
We made it back to COR late Tuesday night and began a completely indescribable week of being his parents. We fed him, we bathed him, we played with him and he slept between us each night. We enrolled him in school, we pushed him on the swing, we colored, we cuddled and we cherished every smile, every laugh, every time he said "mommy" and "daddy".<br />
<br />
We became parents in the most tangible sense. It's impossible to describe. I dont know what words to use to facilitate your understanding, your ability to "feel" it. We were in another country, another culture with a 5 year old boy who had known us for less than 4 hours of his life and who we knew very little about. Ive never been so thankful for my professional experiences and education and all the books we read! But none of that prepares you totally. I looked at Chad several times asking "what do I do", "what do you think", "what is he saying"??? It was messy. It was often uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
But it was the most beautiful and completely life-changing experience I have ever had. I couldnt have asked for anything to go better. If you would have told me before boarding the plane how much we would have bonded and attached as a family, I would have laughed in your face and called you Optimistic Pollyanna.<br />
<br />
Some of my most precious memories:<br />
- the first time he called out to me as "mommy".<br />
- the first time he called Chad "daddy" and Chad heard him and responded.<br />
- waking up in the middle of the night seeing Kwe big-spooning Chad. One arm around his waist, the other in his hair.<br />
- how much he LOVED bath time and broke out in the craziest dance moves when i poured water over his head<br />
- just being still and listening to his singing, drumming and humming<br />
- walking into our room to see Chad and Kwe in their PJ's cuddled up reading a book<br />
- holding his hand as we prayed<br />
- every day seeing him open up and realize that we were there to care for him in a different way than others had.<br />
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Reading with daddy</div>
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Swinging with mommy</div>
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<br /></div>
I could go on and on. Beautiful is just all i keep thinking. Beautiful in the deepest, most pure and intense meaning. I love this kid with everything I am.<br />
<br />
I know now what people mean when they say they would literally do anything for their kid. I would do that.<br />
<br />
I no longer will laugh when people say they just lay awake at night staring at their kids face. I did that.<br />
<br />
And leaving was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I actually thought about turning away from the group, grabbing Kwe and running into the hills. I cried. So hard. I haven't sobbed like that in years.<br />
<br />
Another juxtaposition, right?<br />
<br />
Feeling so at peace knowing that I have seen God move with my very own eyes while being devastated that I need other people to raise my child right now. That they get to see more of his "firsts" and cuddle with him at night. It hurts deeper than I knew I could feel.<br />
<br />
Whew............<br />
<br />
And then we landed back in the States. I ate processed food, took a hot shower and left the water on the entire time, slept in my offensively comfortable bed and went back to work. I tried to fit back in. I am trying to fit in...<br />
<br />
But I feel different. Again. More.<br />
<br />
I sorta feel incomplete. A little lost. Like a part of me is missing. Heavy. Sad.<br />
<br />
I also feel like it was all a dream. That week was in another world, incomparably different than any one of my weeks here. Did I imagine it all?<br />
<br />
I wish I knew the words to really describe it to you...<br />
<br />
BUT, we are SO blessed! We have received updates, pictures, something almost every day since we have been back. :) People. That is HUGE. Prior to that we had received only a few vague updates over several months and now we can communicate with him and the amazing people who are around him every day! It keeps it feeling real. It motivates me. It puts a smile on my face and in my heart. He is in great hands. He is with people who love him and love Jesus. I couldnt ask for more while I wait.<br />
<br />
Logistically, we are waiting for the corrected Adoption Decree so that our POA can file for Kwe's birth certificate. We will be filing our I600 the day we receive these documents (and absolutely no later than mid April as all our immigration pre-paperwork is set to expire soon). Then we wait for approval (i.e. the US government investigating his background and situation to determine if he qualifies to immigrate as an orphan). Then we file for his VISA (the last thing needed to leave the country). We will travel back for the exit interview in anticipation of passing and being able to bring him home!<br />
<br />
What a sweet, sweet day that will be!<br />
<br />
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On our way to Church</div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-16768911385044243652014-03-11T18:53:00.001-07:002014-03-11T18:53:12.544-07:00A quick updateThese last few weeks have felt like a whirlwind! Paperwork, emails, donations, packing lists, celebrating, paperwork, cleaning, shopping, more paperwork...<br />
<br />
3 days until we leave. Less than a week until I hold my sweet boy again. I just cant wait to be back. I so love that place.<br />
<br />
One major update is around this amazing organization we have become connected with. <a href="http://www.cityofrefugeoutreach.com/#" target="_blank">City of Refuge </a> was started in Accra by an American/Ghanaian couple who became aware of the tragic truth that hundreds of children in Ghana were being forced into slavery and trafficking. They work to investigate these cases and rescue children from horrific environments. God has grown their work into an entire campus that includes safe shelter, access to medical care and a Christian education. We learned about some volunteer opportunities there and the chance that they may be willing to provide foster care for Kwe. Over the course of a few days, we had exchanged multiple emails and they had offered to not only pick us up from the airport but also allow us to stay in their guest house!<br />
<br />
I just cant believe their generosity and we are so excited to be able to serve there and collect donations for them. We will be exploring with them the possibility of transitioning Kwe to COR where he would get good nutrition and medical care, be attending a Christian school and be able to Skype with us regularly. How awesome would that be in reinforcing who we are and what is happening! :)<br />
<br />
Our other goals for this trip are to obtain the Court's Adoption Decree. Without this we may not be able to move him out of the orphanage as this document proves our guardianship. Once we have that (thinking positively) we can file for his birth certificate (the one that lists us as his parents!). If by some miracle we are able to obtain that while in country (and for many people it takes weeks or months to get) we would be able to file for his passport. Regardless, by the end of our time there we will be filing our I600: Petition to Classify an Orphan as an Immediate Relative (heck yes he is!). If we arent able to get the decree and birth certificate we will still file but our case will essentially be flagged until we submit everything else. We really dont need any more flagging... So we are GOING to get those documents (more positive thoughts)!<br />
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Please join us in praying for these doors to open and progress to be made! We are just so excited to see how God moves while we are there because He has certainly moved mountains in the last few weeks and continues to bless us beyond what we expect or deserve.<br />
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We are hoping to have somewhat regular access to internet and will be posting updates and pictures as often as we can on our blog and Facebook pages.<br />
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Next time you hear from me, Ill be in sunny (and hot!!!) Africa. Aaahhhh.....Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-48590698371595383382014-02-27T19:29:00.000-08:002014-03-07T09:19:56.309-08:00Wanna help? Support Kwe's Orphanage<br />
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<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last updated 3/7</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many of you have asked how you can help now!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Below is a list of items that have been identified as high needs. Remember, think lightweight and as little packaging as possible!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We need the items by <u><b>Wednesday, March 12</b></u> for our "packing party"- and yes, you are invited! Otherwise we will try to arrange whatever pick-up/drop off is most convenient for you!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: yellow;">Update</b>: Collected items will be split between <a href="http://www.royalseedhome.org/" target="_blank">Royal Seed</a> (the orphanage Kwe is at now) and <a href="http://www.cityofrefugeoutreach.com/" target="_blank">City of Refuge</a> (where we will be volunteering and exploring as a foster care placement for him!- more details later on this!)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ziplock bags: all sizes</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Children's Tylenol</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Children's Ibuprophen</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Children & Adult Cough Medicine (day and night)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chew-able laxatives </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Medical Gloves</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anti-bacterial cream</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alcohol/peroxide</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cotton balls</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">band-aids -FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ace bandages </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Coffee</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Coffee creamer- </span>powder <br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Cinnamon</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Chocolate chips</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Almonds</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shampoo</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Crunchy Peanut Butter- </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nutella- FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Beach balls (deflated)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Soccer balls (deflated)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Air pump/needles</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jump ropes</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Frisbee</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gently used clothes...tank tops, shorts - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">New underwear (this is a huge need!)- boys and girls- FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Flip flops- lightweight!</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Notebooks</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Coloring books</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Educational flash cards- FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plastic Easter Eggs (and small items for inside them)</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Easter Candy- FULFILLED</span><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-5053872316146819112014-02-27T04:53:00.003-08:002014-02-27T04:59:19.295-08:00WE PASSED!!! ...So, what happens next?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WE PASSED, WE PASSED, WE PASSED!!!!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The words we have been waiting to say for so long. Seriously, I have had multiple dreams and countless mental pictures of what that moment would look like. I often pictured myself being at work and running out to the hallway to do a happy dance and scream! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well....right in line with the rest of this journey, my patience was tested. I got the call while at a community meeting at another nearby nonprofit in which I had to present a portion of the agenda. As our agency's number came across my cell screen I glanced at my friend sitting beside me with (somewhat panicky) wide eyes and began the treacherous journey around the entire room, squeezing through chairs and tripping over people's purses and feet. Why did I pick the seat farthest from the door? It took <u>forever</u> and I am quite certain I made a scene. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once in the hallway, I finally heard our caseworkers voice: "You aren't going to believe this". And I swear her voice dropped a bit because my heart crashed. [pause] "It went through". </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: "What? Are you saying we passed?"</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her: "Yes, you passed!!!"</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The tears started coming and my ability to make a sentence started diminishing. On the day we had chosen for his birthday, months ago, he was adopted. I walked into the first random unoccupied office I found and called Chad. Cried some more, wiped my eyes, took a deep breath and pulled myself back together. For 45 minutes, I sat patiently (well....does fidgeting, doodling and taking 2 more phone calls count?) and waited for my part on the agenda. It. Was. Painful. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then it happened. The flurry of texts, phone calls, Facebook posts and emails! It was just so beautiful and I have so many pieces recorded for Kwe. Again and again throughout this journey, we have been reminded of just how much love and support we have around us and it was literally a dream come true to celebrate with those who have stuck it out with us. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We passed and we've been in a cloud since! Kwe is ours! His birth certificate reads our names. We get to make the decisions now about his care and safety and education. He can't just disappear or be moved or be taken by someone who claims to be mom's uncle's, grandpa's 3rd cousin. Ghana recognizes him as OUR SON. Which also means we can now share his beautiful face without fear!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Kweku David Rabit Steininger</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5 years old</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No longer an orphan</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, what happens next?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hands down. The most frequently asked question these past few days. I love it! :) You all are just like me! Get over one hurdle and you are automatically wondering about and planning for the next one!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok, so here we go.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next we gather all the required documentation to file the USCIS I-600: Petition to Classify an Orphan as an Immediate Relative. Basically this ridiculous stack of paperwork (most of which we have already collected and submitted at some point) is the final trigger for the US Immigration to start their piece in determining if Kwe is a legitimate orphan and safe to immigrate to the US. It is an important step and put in place for lots of reasons, including minimizing child trafficking...which is extremely prevalent. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One potential hurdle for us is that they wont begin their work until EVERYTHING they want is in hand, including the signed Adoption Decree from court and Kwe's new Birth Certificate listing us as his parents. Apparently, these documents can take months for the Court to send out. BUT, remember, we already booked our trip for mid-March!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I will not be leaving Ghana until these documents are in my hands. AND IM NOT PLAYING AROUND PEOPLE!!!! (see post: Angry as Hell) :|</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(insert sweet and innocent face)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we wait for approval or a request for additional information. We are told that due to the specific details of Kwe's social history, this process <strike>should</strike> could move quickly. I.e. 1-2 months. Which is a blink of an eye considering what we have already waited.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then, sneak peak to the NEXT step, once we get this approval we apply for Kwe's Passport and VISA. THIS IS THE LAST STEP! But it can be a tricky one... more to come on that later. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My attempts to keep this short and sweet have already failed miserably.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So for now, the celebration continues! We praise God for his faithfulness. He promised He would never leave us AND He promised that He would not leave Kwe as an orphan. And He came through. He always does. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cheers!</span><br />
<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-37469947315494970532014-02-22T09:33:00.003-08:002014-02-22T09:33:36.309-08:00A Juxtaposition<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Juxtaposition: The act of placing side by side for comparison or contrast </span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">(hold onto this, we'll come back to it)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">One of my best friends encouraged me to read the book 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky long before it was popular, years before it became a movie. If you aren't familiar, I would definitely recommend it. It's both beautiful and tragically honest in presenting the challenge of working thru sexual abuse while struggling to find your place in high school...and life in general, really. There are several great quotes but this one has always stood out to me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.” </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">These words resonate with me on so many levels. Especially through the last few months, which in many ways have been the most challenging I've ever been though. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've been thinking, while minute after minute rolls by, how it can be possible to feel both irrefutable peace about the future and a panic-inducing confusion in the present? How can you love your life so completely yet sometimes feel so disconnected? How can you experience both child-like excitement and matured anger simultaneously?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Anger and excitement??? My juxtaposition. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I wasn't really sure what kind of response I would get from my last post. The outpouring of encouragement and support really allowed me to dig deeper into what else I was feeling and experiencing and processing through and I realized there was something else there. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It took me a minute to grab it, explore it, name it.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's excitement.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's there, bubbling up...a cheer forming...a praise about to burst out! God is doing something big here people! And we get to be a part of it! We (and you all) get to see it come together! Some of you are reading this as a direct result of things 'coming together', because you didn't know I existed before! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Tomorrow (Sunday, February 23) we are having our first community prayer gathering for our adoption and you are invited. We will be meeting at Madison Square Church in the Gathering Room at 7:15 pm. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 16px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Matthew 18 says "When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” </span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There will be 5 prayer stations that you can walk through silently or join with others aloud.The themes of these stations intentionally lack detail so that you can pray as you feel led.</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Kwe: his heart, soul, strength and courage</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The court system and our 7th scheduled hearing on February 25</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our POA and Attorney: that they would experience no barriers, that they represent us well and advocate ferociously</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Against the strongholds in Ghana: that Satan would have no more power, that those who appose adoption would be bound and their corruption would be brought to light</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Our trip in May: that doors would open and we would make progress on our case</span></li>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> If you cant make it in person, please feel welcome to join us in spirit and use the above themes as a guide. </span></span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now, you know this wasn't my idea. I couldn't come up with something this beautiful. And even if the idea formed, I would probably be too intimidated to speak it. But that is the beautiful thing about community!!! Its all different people coming together to be just what is needed just when its needed. We are blessed by a supportive and diverse community that is literally holding us up right now. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Here's the thing: even if we dont pass court next week, Ill still be excited! Ill still be praising God. Because He is at work. He is writing this story. And even if the wait and the barriers and the red tape never 'make sense', and if my patience isn't rewarded in the way I think it should be ...its ok. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So for me, it can be possible to feel a deep rage against injustice and an overflowing excitement for how God is moving AT THE SAME TIME. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">What is your juxtaposition?</span></div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-81810734222172036112014-02-16T07:01:00.000-08:002014-02-16T07:01:32.948-08:00Angry as hellBare with me on this one... (parents who are reading aloud to your children, be prepared to edit/explain)<br />
<br />
I am angry. The most angry I have been in as long as I can remember. It's the kind of anger that burns deep in your stomach. Every muscle tightens. You're on alert. Ready to go.<br />
<br />
I woke up this angry on Thursday. It's stuck.<br />
<br />
Wednesday night I had a dream. It was about Kwe. We had just brought him home and he was sleeping. He was so exhuasted. He slept all night and all day and all the next night. While the hours slipped by I kept asking Chad to go check on him, every 15 minutes. Make sure he is breathing. Make sure he is ok. I was bursting with excitement for him to wake up so that we could do all the things I had been waiting years to do. When I passed by his room, he was in his bed. But in my dream, I never saw his face. I knew he was there but I couldn't quite get to him. There was some invisible barrier that kept me from swooping him up. This dream repeated itself for what seemed like hours. All night it drug on.<br />
<br />
I woke up angry.<br />
<br />
I'm still angry.<br />
<br />
I'm more than angry.<br />
<br />
I'm losing my patience for how long this is taking, because it's in the hands of humans who either benefit from it dragging out, are fearful of pushing too hard, or just meet road block after road block. I'm terrified that he is going to be 10 before I really see him in a bed in our home. I just read the angry rant of another woman who met her children when they were 6 & 7 years old and they will both be 10 soon. She has made as much progress as we have... And there are so many other families who have been waiting years beyond what our days add up to. They are here, they are in country, they are fighting, crying, screaming out to God for direction and peace and clarity. I cant imagine how they are coping...because I cant even wrap my mind around my own current sanity (emphasis on current).<br />
<br />
We found out today that Kwe recently had malaria. He was sick and we werent there. The words were written with an err of normalicy. Just another day in the life of an African, right? No big deal. <b>WELL</b>, ITS A BIG DEAL TO ME! We were told that he is struggling in school and doesn't seem motivated. DUH!!!! Let me write an effing blog post about the top 100 reasons why that might be!!! It makes me sick that Kwe isnt here. And that we arent there. I could literally vomit thinking about the thousands of other children that dont even have a "here"! Sometimes the weight of what I know and what I have seen runs me over. Like the biggest, scariest, heaviest truck you could ever imagine in your worst nightmare. And I'll never have the freedom to bask in the bliss of ignorance again. Even if I stab my out eyes, I can't make myself be as blinded as before. It makes me want to toss aside everything, every part of my life, to go be there. It keeps me awake at night. It greets me in the morning with a rage that claws for action.<br />
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Sometimes I want to scream "shame on you!" to the world, whose silence allows this to happen, who mostly sits back and gawks like it's the latest horror flick. "<i>Now, now...that isn't fair to all the people who are doing lots of good things in the world</i>". You're right. Im sorry. I mean to specifically target those who pat themselves on the back for ____ (fill in the blank) and then two minutes later turn back to their lives of excess and waste.<br />
<br />
...Then I realize that the finger points right at my own face too...<br />
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Here is the truth. There are millions of children around the world who feel alone. They sit in one system or another. Foster Care in the US, an orphanage in Africa or China or Guatemala. Everything we know tells us that children who grow up in these places, who don't make meaningful relationships and connections with caring adults, who don't have adequate nutrition and health care, typically don't turn into healthy, productive members of society. They land in the justice system, they exhaust themselves battling substance use disorders and mental health issues, and many of them die...far to early.<br />
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How is every educated person in the world not in an uproar about this?!?!? We should be demanding answers and action and resolution. We should be going to college to learn how to change this. All the media should be covering how this has directly impacted the US economy and the never-ending war in Syria and the genocide in the Congo and on and on and on! Every resource should be diverted to resolve this social injustice that destroys us from the inside out!<br />
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(catching my breath...that was a lot of exclamation points) Whew!<br />
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So yes, I am infuriated that children are exploited and tossed aside and used for political and financial gain. Period. There is no prettier way to say it. </div>
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Im pissed that Kwe isnt here to build a snow man, and he probably wont be here to see it melt or to see the grass start to grow or to watch the dogs chase squirrels in the backyard on the first warm day of spring. </div>
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This isnt fair.<br />
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This isnt acceptable.<br />
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And I am losing my patience.<br />
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The line between respecting cultural norms / "the process" and what is in the best interest of my son is getting VERY blurry.<br />
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Mama bear is about to loose her sh**! Play time is over.Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-60909971396038410392014-02-09T14:08:00.001-08:002014-02-09T14:08:20.743-08:00Blowin' off the dustYikes! This is really getting out of hand!! Two months since the last post?!?! I can hardly believe it.<br />
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A lot has happened in the last handful of months, and maybe some day ill type about it all, or maybe you'll have to wait for the book that Chad has insistently reminded me I am meant to write.<br />
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How about we start with the adoption updates, since that is why you are really here anyway. :)<br />
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Since the last post, we blew through the December court date with a cancelation. 6th hearing was scheduled in late January. We really thought that was going to be the one. Our Power of Attorney had been able to confirm with the Judge who was filling in 2 days a week in our district. Multiple confirmations were made including on the day before our hearing. Our POA drove the long and bumpy road to pick up Kwe and our attorney made a 2 hour drive to be there. All just to be told that the Judge left to attend a funeral.<br />
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~ enter long and dramatic sigh ~<br />
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So, our 7th hearing is now scheduled for February 25, which is interestingly enough, the day we chose as his birthday. He will be 5 (ish) and "celebrating" another year with no recognition, no party, no cake and no family.<br />
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It's getting harder to be excited about each new hearing. Its much easier to be cynical. I think to myself, "what possible reason will we hear next?"<br />
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On a much happier note, we made the tough decision to travel to Ghana in March. I say it was tough because we had to weigh out the pro's and cons of how it could effect Kwe. He may have forgotten about us by now. Ignorance is bliss, right? We certainly dont want him to begin thinking we are just weird people who pop in and out of his life a couple times a year. With the help of our adoption caseworker we decided that the opportunity to bond, explain and build a connection always trumps the fear of confusion and uncertainty. We will remind him of who we are and what his future holds.<br />
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We also made the decision partly on timing. Flights are cheap this time of year because it's their summer (heeeelloooo 90 degrees and sunshine!) and we have been fortunate to make some connections that will keep the rest of the travel costs very low. I also have significant vacation time saved from the last couple years and if I dont use it by the end of September I will lose it.<br />
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Lastly, it will have been 8 months since we were there and we miss it. Greatly. We miss Kwe the most and his adorable little face, and his selfless heart and his tiny hands. But there are a lot of other things we miss too: The beautiful, peaceful, welcoming people, and the smell of Ghana (impossible to describe), the food, the history and culture...we just miss it all. We feel it calling to us. Getting louder.<br />
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Now that we committed and booked the flight we are beyond excited! I seriously cant wait. I think about it every 10 minutes (or more frequently). We plan to stay in Accra, the capitol and explore on our own. We are becoming confident travelers and have talked to enough people that we believe we can navigate the city without a guide. We will be mindful of common safety concerns and ever aware of our surroundings but we wont let fear hold us back. Our POA will still assist us in visiting the orphanage and we will probably hire a private driver for a few outings but we are boldly going to the art market and the grocery store and the beach. We want to see some new things!<br />
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There is so much to do! Orphanage donations to collect, lodging and travel plans to make, lots of things to wrap up here... Time to get on it!!! Kwe doesnt even know what's about to him!Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-31331166561677415202013-12-07T08:13:00.000-08:002013-12-07T08:13:32.333-08:00Some ProgressWow, has it really been over a month since my last post?!?!<br />
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Its been an <i>interesting</i> few weeks... Someday maybe ill write about all the pieces of what has been going on but for now ill focus on just two of them.<br />
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1. WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!! After months of no progress we are finally seeing some movement. The Director of Social Welfare in the region where our case was originally filed is holding his stance on not processing any cases during the suspension. So, our attorney decided to withdraw our case from that court and file it in another court. We were promptly given a court date of December 17th! As long as this director writes and submits the social enquiry report by this date, we could finally be Kwe's legal parents. Our attorney seems optimistic and I dont think he would have made this move if he didnt feel pretty confident.<br />
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2. Also this month I have been processing a huge career change. Due to significant federal budget cuts, my position is being eliminated. This came as a huge shock to me and has been difficult to work through. I love my job and my team and saw myself being there for a long time. It is incredibly difficult to be told that you can no longer do what you love. I was very fortunate though to be offered a few different options and one specifically that leadership really wanted me to consider. I have decided to accept that position and will be doing performance improvement, data quality/reporting and donor development for the agency. This is definitely a shift for me but I will be learning critical skills in agency administration and meeting lots of awesome people!<br />
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That's our updates! Short and sweet...not very eloquent but its something!Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-40263692413468063732013-10-29T04:46:00.001-07:002013-10-29T04:46:29.661-07:00Back on the wagonThis past week has been exceptionally rough...<br />
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Last Monday, the first day of week 3, started with promise. I was feelin' good! Got to work early thinking I would have a couple hours uninterrupted to get some serious work down. BUT, upon my arrival there was a meeting already waiting at my door.<br />
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More budget cuts. Significant ones. The kind that potentially force you to lay off really amazing people. The kind that make you wonder about the security of your own job...<br />
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It was pretty much a downward spiral from there. Late nights (cough...cough - later mornings), less healthy eating, no time to run...feeling defeated.<br />
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It's funny how quickly 'failure' invites itself into your home and life. You hear the knock and crack open the front door. Your head sticks out and you look around for who it might be, but you don't even notice the little creeper sneaking in around your feet. Jerk.<br />
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Yesterday, I was feeling especially gross. My stomach hurt, I felt disconnected and distant from everyone, nothing was going particularly awesome.<br />
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So, I recommitted.<br />
<br />
But I needed to make a few adjustments to my original plan. Specifically, I am now getting up at 6 instead of 5. It took me a few weeks to convince myself that this wasn't failure or laziness but that my reasoning was sound. Getting up at 5 required me to go to bed between 9:30 and 10. Many nights, Chad would have just gotten home an hour before that so we were consistently having less time just to catch up on life. Not healthy for our relationship. I felt less safe running at 5 as there is literally no one up and about yet. 6 is so much different! Restaurants are opening, lots of people are driving around and I can catch a buzz from the blossoming city energy. That extra hour of sleep minimizes my 'crash' in the afternoon and allows my brain to function from the hours of 7-9pm.<br />
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6am is better for my lifestyle, my marriage and my mental health.<br />
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I listen to NPR or TEDtalks podcasts while I run in an effort to learn some new nugget each day. This morning I heard a social researcher tell me that "blame is a way of discharging pain and discomfort". That really struck me. Especially because self blame and judgment come so easily for me and usually result in even higher standards for myself.<br />
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So today I commit to just being. Being where I am- which not only means fully accepting the tweaks above but also in what God is doing in other areas of my life. This experiment has reminded me that I can't get so caught up in waiting for Kwe, wishing he was here, and being excited for our future family that I miss out on the work that God has for me today. <br />
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"Only I [God] know what will happen to you this day. I have arranged the events you will encounter as you go along your way." - Jesus Calling</div>
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"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10 </div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-5696187042866197352013-10-20T14:55:00.001-07:002013-10-20T14:55:12.898-07:00Laughing at God...and being forgiven for it.A few months ago, in the thick of waiting to hear on our next scheduled court date, Chad boldly shared a conviction that Kwe would be home by Christmas and we would have started our second adoption.<br />
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You can imagine how far my big mouth dropped.<br />
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I felt like Chad was much more spiritual and disciplined and trusting so I hoped it was true. I wanted to believe it. As the weeks rolled by, he stuck to his guns. Then a week or so ago, he reiterated his confidence to me and with a hint of anger in my raised voice, I proudly proclaimed that "I JUST DONT AGREE WITH YOU!" (To which he simply said "ok", and went on his way). Gggrrrr.....<br />
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Fast forward to a few days ago. He tells me how the story of Abraham and Sarah has come up several times. While I believe that God can speak to us through these "coincidences", I blew it off saying "oh ya, a story about being patient and waiting for God. Got it. Blah blah blah".<br />
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(Pause: You know how I feel about being honest. Please don't judge, just keep reading. Unpause.)<br />
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So this morning, when our Pastor announces that the sermon is about Abraham and Sarah and how bitterness can turn to comedy, I scolded myself, quickly apologized to God and sat up a little straighter. Intrigued about what I was to get out of this. Since this was partly about God's sense of humor, our Paster told us a few jokes (which are somehow always more funny coming from a pastor).<br />
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The message specifically targeted these Genesis chapter 17: 15-17 & 18:9-15. He explained how Abraham and Sarah, who were both super old, laughed (until literally falling over) when God told them they would be having a baby. Nursing home turns maternity ward, right?!?! But instead of getting angry, it seems like God laughed back and says "try me!". Of course it happened as God had said, and He even chooses the baby's name, Isaac, which means "he laughs".<br />
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All the while, I am remembering the times I have "laughed" at Chad (and really at God) with my lack of faith and compounding doubts, jealous of how trusting and relaxed he can be. Haven't I been just like Sarah??? Maybe these last few months wouldn't have turned out differently if I had trusted God more fully and maybe the next few months wont go any differently because I am learning this lesson now...but it certainly changed something. It changed me.<br />
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It was truly one of the best sermons I have ever heard and if you are interested you can listen to it here: <a href="http://www.madisonsquarechurch.org/sermon-recordings/" target="_blank">Son of Laughter</a> (by David Beelen).<br />
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He closed the message by reminding us all that God chose us. The broken. The sinful. The doubting. The undeserving. He said it's like "being called to play volleyball, but you are just a midget! The only thing you can spike is punch!" - Bahahahahahaha..... Yup! I teared up I was laughing so hard....I'm still cracking up.<br />
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<br />Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-29671968197274607872013-10-18T04:15:00.002-07:002013-10-18T04:15:53.066-07:00Where we're atWe have learned a lot this past week or so about where our adoption case currently sits, who and what is restricting progress, and what people/the world says our future looks like.<br />
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So here's the skinny. The 411. The down low.<br />
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Our case has been completed, reviewed and is sitting on the desk of the new-ish Social Welfare Director in the Central Region of Ghana. Unlike his predecessor he is cautious, fearful maybe, of the possible repercussions of filing a case in court during the "suspension".<br />
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Now remember (or hear me if this is new to you) that this "suspension" is completely illegal! One person in Ghana has effectively halted international adoption without ever amending or enacting a law. This is very much outside of her scope but fear and money are powerful weapons and when used with purpose, vision and energy, they have the power to change a country.<br />
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Additionally, our US Embassy, for a multitude of reasons, has upheld this "suspension" and communicated no desire to call it out as what it is: ludicrous.<br />
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We have received confirmation, in a few different forms, that our case will not be moving forward until the suspension has lifted. There is a lot of rumor that this could happen as soon as November but some highly respected, and connected, people in the adoption community say they are not confident it will come to fruition for some time yet.<br />
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Yesterday, our worker assured us that the agency has given clear directive to the in-country staff to file our case under the "emergency" clause. When approved (rarely) his clause allows adoptions to move forward for cases where the child: <br />
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<ul>
<li>Has special needs or medical conditions</li>
<li>Could "age out" of eligibility (meaning they are nearing the age 16)</li>
<li>Are being adopted by biological relatives</li>
</ul>
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We are specifically filing under the special needs clause, arguing that the trauma he has endured (abuse, neglect, abandonment) has had a profound emotional impact and that he needs therapy, stability and a family. I am not sure if our Power of Attorney will actually get to "argue" any of this though. From what I understand, there is a man. A man who sits behind a desk. This man reviews the file and makes a determination based on his perspective of the child's health, physically and otherwise. I am praying for this man. Will you pray for him?</div>
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It's a long shot. It's our agency's last ditch effort. We will have pursued every connection, every person, every article that we have found. There will be nothing else to do except wait. Wait for the government in a developing country where poverty, bribery, corruption and evil poke its way into the abundance of beauty, resilience and hope that is Ghana. </div>
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This is where we're at.</div>
Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5401455305588889679.post-82318030163995363412013-10-15T04:48:00.000-07:002013-10-15T04:48:15.727-07:00I survived: Week 1So today is Day 9. I know. You weren't sure you would ever read another word typed by me. Shockingly, I am still alive. Even more shocking, I haven't turned into a grouchy, mean, exhausted old lady (riiiight Honey???).<br />
<br />
I wonder if anyone has been curious about how this week has been going. And if you are, I am guessing you are also really hoping I am not going to write about how enlightening it has been to see the world at 5 am or how I get the warm and fuzzies as I crawl into bed at 9:30 at night thinking about running in the cold, dark early morning.<br />
<br />
Bahahahahahahah<br />
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Nope!<br />
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You know I prefer the truth. In all its grit and gore.<br />
<br />
So here are some of the details (in respect of your time, I cant touch on every aspect of my "plan" but will rotate topics):<br />
<br />
Monday: started out like a rock star. Ran, read, prayed, had a breakfast of champions, got to work early and had huge expectations for all the things I was going to accomplish....and that's when we fell apart. Crisis after crisis all morning sucked away all my hopes and dreams for the day. That day at work ranked in the top 5 most stressful and least satisfying days at my current job.<br />
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Tuesday: decided to kick Monday in the butt and run again. Chad ran with me. Twisted his ankle half way thru the run and we walked the rest of the way home. Read, prayed, etc. Felt tested (on day 2??? Really, give me a break!!!). That evening I went out with a few friends who noticed my mood and said something that really struck me: just be careful that you don't punish yourself for something that is out of your control. Whoa! Deep. Sharp. So real and true for me (sometimes) but never said so directly. (I could write an entire post on this)<br />
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Wednesday: Walked the dogs at 5 am. Laughed at their confusion. Read, prayed, etc. Received some encouragement in unexpected ways. Had a 4 hour "restructure" meeting at work that laid out an entire job change for me. Surprised I didn't feel more stoked about it, considering its everything I asked for. Felt drained and disconnected.<br />
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Thursday: Had the day off. Unpaid furlough. Felt like an unproductive, half-member of society. Got a lot accomplished but still felt like something very important to me had been taken away. Got a little angry. Saw God use it anyway to make me available for a conversation about faith with the most unexpected person.<br />
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Friday: Up for 2 hours in the middle of the night responding to crisis at work (of course I was on-call too this week!). Struggled to get up. Felt tired. Pulled myself together for the fall cleaning day at work. Got a HUGE boost of energy and hope when we received an update and new pictures of Kwe (So wish I could share with you. He had THE biggest smile!).<br />
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Thru all this, I still found something each day to be grateful for and a small success to journal about. I found it a tiny bit easier to ask for and expect my strength to come from God and not myself. I feel something changing...ever so slightly. I am excited to see what's time come. Intrigue is growing over what will happen in these next few months.<br />
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There is something awesome about making it through Day 8.<br />
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Sure, sticking to your plan for a whole week is amazing and gratifying but once you have made it thru that 8th day you have crossed over into some new level of commitment. One week can be wrapped up nicely with a bow on top but then you have another decision to make...another commitment for another whole week.Chad and Shandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03551868903291462383noreply@blogger.com0