Evolution

There are lots of changes in our lives right now...not like the "let's paint the walls" change, or the "maybe we should try a new restaurant tonight" change but the kind that force you to reconsider your view of the world as you know it. Here are just 3:

1. There has been a shift in how we see the future playing out. We are becoming more aware of the fact that it might be something we didn't plan for, couldn't have made happen on our own, and might make us a little uncomfortable.

"The more comfortable we are with mystery in our journey, the more rest we will know along the way" - John Eldredge

For example, Chad has been talking about going back to school off and on for a few years now. Over the last several months he has developed this passion for reading (which was never a strong skill of his) and has plowed through several books (including the entire Bible!). That has brought him (us) to prayerfully considering seminary or a masters degree in ministry. In addition, he just applied for an amazing position at YoungLife (in Wedgwood) where he has been volunteering for the last few years. This position is truly where his passion is and would allow him to continue to work with kids who have experienced a lot of pain and loss in their lives but with a ministry focus. It is part-time (which is SCARY) but it would allow him to take classes and be at home with our future child. (note: if you haven't picked up the anxiety in my voice here is your hint and plea for prayer!)

2. We are learning to accept that relationships change...and not always in the direction we want them to. I (Shandra) tend to get pretty attached to people. When I truly get close to someone I care about them passionately and I can become somewhat protective. Ill do just about anything for someone I love, even if the personal sacrifice is great. This is one of the most beautiful things I learned from Audrey. Before her, no one had ever called me just because they were thinking about me and wanted to see how my day was going. She truly defined friendship and I never questioned what I meant to her. In the fullness that I step into friendships/relationships I also expect a lot back although I don't think its unreasonable (of course!). It's things like respect (dont talk about me behind my back, dont screw me over), that I can count on you in a time of need, that you have my back and that you want to spend time together (one of my primary love languages).

The devastating truth is that relationships aren't like a ferris wheel they're more like a roller coaster and sometimes when the ride ends, and its been a long day, one of you just aren't ready to jump back in line...no matter how much the other may want it. 

3. Lastly, its a maturing of faith. An evolution of beliefs. From life being random but connected events that God cares about to understanding that there is a plan that is bigger than we can fathom. Seeing the bits of truth in the phrase "everything happens for a reason" and embracing the anticipation for how God might just catch us off guard. 

For example, an old friend from Calvin that I havent talked to in nearly 3 years has became an amazing supporter of our adoption, connecting us to some great resources and providing unique fundraising ideas (stay tuned for the coolest hats you have ever seen!). Her own experience working in an orphanage in Africa has already played a role in our journey. We are continuously amazed by the people who have expressed their desire to support us: friends of friends donating items to our yard sale, being invited into an elite adoption support group :) and the numerous gifts we have received: from the check that came in the mail a few days ago (you know who you are but you will never know how much that meant) to the bin of childhood toys, 20-some years old that are full of meaning. I have been brought to tears more times in the last month than i usually am in a year!

Little Guy's very first toy! From one of the staff I supervise who also has a heart for orphans. (P.S. "Little Guy" is the official nickname)

My intent on this being a short and sweet post was once again a complete fail. Oh well, maybe next time ;)