Wow, has it really been over a month since my last post?!?!
Its been an interesting few weeks... Someday maybe ill write about all the pieces of what has been going on but for now ill focus on just two of them.
1. WE HAVE A COURT DATE!!! After months of no progress we are finally seeing some movement. The Director of Social Welfare in the region where our case was originally filed is holding his stance on not processing any cases during the suspension. So, our attorney decided to withdraw our case from that court and file it in another court. We were promptly given a court date of December 17th! As long as this director writes and submits the social enquiry report by this date, we could finally be Kwe's legal parents. Our attorney seems optimistic and I dont think he would have made this move if he didnt feel pretty confident.
2. Also this month I have been processing a huge career change. Due to significant federal budget cuts, my position is being eliminated. This came as a huge shock to me and has been difficult to work through. I love my job and my team and saw myself being there for a long time. It is incredibly difficult to be told that you can no longer do what you love. I was very fortunate though to be offered a few different options and one specifically that leadership really wanted me to consider. I have decided to accept that position and will be doing performance improvement, data quality/reporting and donor development for the agency. This is definitely a shift for me but I will be learning critical skills in agency administration and meeting lots of awesome people!
That's our updates! Short and sweet...not very eloquent but its something!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Back on the wagon
This past week has been exceptionally rough...
Last Monday, the first day of week 3, started with promise. I was feelin' good! Got to work early thinking I would have a couple hours uninterrupted to get some serious work down. BUT, upon my arrival there was a meeting already waiting at my door.
More budget cuts. Significant ones. The kind that potentially force you to lay off really amazing people. The kind that make you wonder about the security of your own job...
It was pretty much a downward spiral from there. Late nights (cough...cough - later mornings), less healthy eating, no time to run...feeling defeated.
It's funny how quickly 'failure' invites itself into your home and life. You hear the knock and crack open the front door. Your head sticks out and you look around for who it might be, but you don't even notice the little creeper sneaking in around your feet. Jerk.
Yesterday, I was feeling especially gross. My stomach hurt, I felt disconnected and distant from everyone, nothing was going particularly awesome.
So, I recommitted.
But I needed to make a few adjustments to my original plan. Specifically, I am now getting up at 6 instead of 5. It took me a few weeks to convince myself that this wasn't failure or laziness but that my reasoning was sound. Getting up at 5 required me to go to bed between 9:30 and 10. Many nights, Chad would have just gotten home an hour before that so we were consistently having less time just to catch up on life. Not healthy for our relationship. I felt less safe running at 5 as there is literally no one up and about yet. 6 is so much different! Restaurants are opening, lots of people are driving around and I can catch a buzz from the blossoming city energy. That extra hour of sleep minimizes my 'crash' in the afternoon and allows my brain to function from the hours of 7-9pm.
6am is better for my lifestyle, my marriage and my mental health.
I listen to NPR or TEDtalks podcasts while I run in an effort to learn some new nugget each day. This morning I heard a social researcher tell me that "blame is a way of discharging pain and discomfort". That really struck me. Especially because self blame and judgment come so easily for me and usually result in even higher standards for myself.
So today I commit to just being. Being where I am- which not only means fully accepting the tweaks above but also in what God is doing in other areas of my life. This experiment has reminded me that I can't get so caught up in waiting for Kwe, wishing he was here, and being excited for our future family that I miss out on the work that God has for me today.
Last Monday, the first day of week 3, started with promise. I was feelin' good! Got to work early thinking I would have a couple hours uninterrupted to get some serious work down. BUT, upon my arrival there was a meeting already waiting at my door.
More budget cuts. Significant ones. The kind that potentially force you to lay off really amazing people. The kind that make you wonder about the security of your own job...
It was pretty much a downward spiral from there. Late nights (cough...cough - later mornings), less healthy eating, no time to run...feeling defeated.
It's funny how quickly 'failure' invites itself into your home and life. You hear the knock and crack open the front door. Your head sticks out and you look around for who it might be, but you don't even notice the little creeper sneaking in around your feet. Jerk.
Yesterday, I was feeling especially gross. My stomach hurt, I felt disconnected and distant from everyone, nothing was going particularly awesome.
So, I recommitted.
But I needed to make a few adjustments to my original plan. Specifically, I am now getting up at 6 instead of 5. It took me a few weeks to convince myself that this wasn't failure or laziness but that my reasoning was sound. Getting up at 5 required me to go to bed between 9:30 and 10. Many nights, Chad would have just gotten home an hour before that so we were consistently having less time just to catch up on life. Not healthy for our relationship. I felt less safe running at 5 as there is literally no one up and about yet. 6 is so much different! Restaurants are opening, lots of people are driving around and I can catch a buzz from the blossoming city energy. That extra hour of sleep minimizes my 'crash' in the afternoon and allows my brain to function from the hours of 7-9pm.
6am is better for my lifestyle, my marriage and my mental health.
I listen to NPR or TEDtalks podcasts while I run in an effort to learn some new nugget each day. This morning I heard a social researcher tell me that "blame is a way of discharging pain and discomfort". That really struck me. Especially because self blame and judgment come so easily for me and usually result in even higher standards for myself.
So today I commit to just being. Being where I am- which not only means fully accepting the tweaks above but also in what God is doing in other areas of my life. This experiment has reminded me that I can't get so caught up in waiting for Kwe, wishing he was here, and being excited for our future family that I miss out on the work that God has for me today.
"Only I [God] know what will happen to you this day. I have arranged the events you will encounter as you go along your way." - Jesus Calling
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Laughing at God...and being forgiven for it.
A few months ago, in the thick of waiting to hear on our next scheduled court date, Chad boldly shared a conviction that Kwe would be home by Christmas and we would have started our second adoption.
You can imagine how far my big mouth dropped.
I felt like Chad was much more spiritual and disciplined and trusting so I hoped it was true. I wanted to believe it. As the weeks rolled by, he stuck to his guns. Then a week or so ago, he reiterated his confidence to me and with a hint of anger in my raised voice, I proudly proclaimed that "I JUST DONT AGREE WITH YOU!" (To which he simply said "ok", and went on his way). Gggrrrr.....
Fast forward to a few days ago. He tells me how the story of Abraham and Sarah has come up several times. While I believe that God can speak to us through these "coincidences", I blew it off saying "oh ya, a story about being patient and waiting for God. Got it. Blah blah blah".
(Pause: You know how I feel about being honest. Please don't judge, just keep reading. Unpause.)
So this morning, when our Pastor announces that the sermon is about Abraham and Sarah and how bitterness can turn to comedy, I scolded myself, quickly apologized to God and sat up a little straighter. Intrigued about what I was to get out of this. Since this was partly about God's sense of humor, our Paster told us a few jokes (which are somehow always more funny coming from a pastor).
The message specifically targeted these Genesis chapter 17: 15-17 & 18:9-15. He explained how Abraham and Sarah, who were both super old, laughed (until literally falling over) when God told them they would be having a baby. Nursing home turns maternity ward, right?!?! But instead of getting angry, it seems like God laughed back and says "try me!". Of course it happened as God had said, and He even chooses the baby's name, Isaac, which means "he laughs".
All the while, I am remembering the times I have "laughed" at Chad (and really at God) with my lack of faith and compounding doubts, jealous of how trusting and relaxed he can be. Haven't I been just like Sarah??? Maybe these last few months wouldn't have turned out differently if I had trusted God more fully and maybe the next few months wont go any differently because I am learning this lesson now...but it certainly changed something. It changed me.
It was truly one of the best sermons I have ever heard and if you are interested you can listen to it here: Son of Laughter (by David Beelen).
He closed the message by reminding us all that God chose us. The broken. The sinful. The doubting. The undeserving. He said it's like "being called to play volleyball, but you are just a midget! The only thing you can spike is punch!" - Bahahahahahaha..... Yup! I teared up I was laughing so hard....I'm still cracking up.
You can imagine how far my big mouth dropped.
I felt like Chad was much more spiritual and disciplined and trusting so I hoped it was true. I wanted to believe it. As the weeks rolled by, he stuck to his guns. Then a week or so ago, he reiterated his confidence to me and with a hint of anger in my raised voice, I proudly proclaimed that "I JUST DONT AGREE WITH YOU!" (To which he simply said "ok", and went on his way). Gggrrrr.....
Fast forward to a few days ago. He tells me how the story of Abraham and Sarah has come up several times. While I believe that God can speak to us through these "coincidences", I blew it off saying "oh ya, a story about being patient and waiting for God. Got it. Blah blah blah".
(Pause: You know how I feel about being honest. Please don't judge, just keep reading. Unpause.)
So this morning, when our Pastor announces that the sermon is about Abraham and Sarah and how bitterness can turn to comedy, I scolded myself, quickly apologized to God and sat up a little straighter. Intrigued about what I was to get out of this. Since this was partly about God's sense of humor, our Paster told us a few jokes (which are somehow always more funny coming from a pastor).
The message specifically targeted these Genesis chapter 17: 15-17 & 18:9-15. He explained how Abraham and Sarah, who were both super old, laughed (until literally falling over) when God told them they would be having a baby. Nursing home turns maternity ward, right?!?! But instead of getting angry, it seems like God laughed back and says "try me!". Of course it happened as God had said, and He even chooses the baby's name, Isaac, which means "he laughs".
All the while, I am remembering the times I have "laughed" at Chad (and really at God) with my lack of faith and compounding doubts, jealous of how trusting and relaxed he can be. Haven't I been just like Sarah??? Maybe these last few months wouldn't have turned out differently if I had trusted God more fully and maybe the next few months wont go any differently because I am learning this lesson now...but it certainly changed something. It changed me.
It was truly one of the best sermons I have ever heard and if you are interested you can listen to it here: Son of Laughter (by David Beelen).
He closed the message by reminding us all that God chose us. The broken. The sinful. The doubting. The undeserving. He said it's like "being called to play volleyball, but you are just a midget! The only thing you can spike is punch!" - Bahahahahahaha..... Yup! I teared up I was laughing so hard....I'm still cracking up.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Where we're at
We have learned a lot this past week or so about where our adoption case currently sits, who and what is restricting progress, and what people/the world says our future looks like.
So here's the skinny. The 411. The down low.
Our case has been completed, reviewed and is sitting on the desk of the new-ish Social Welfare Director in the Central Region of Ghana. Unlike his predecessor he is cautious, fearful maybe, of the possible repercussions of filing a case in court during the "suspension".
Now remember (or hear me if this is new to you) that this "suspension" is completely illegal! One person in Ghana has effectively halted international adoption without ever amending or enacting a law. This is very much outside of her scope but fear and money are powerful weapons and when used with purpose, vision and energy, they have the power to change a country.
Additionally, our US Embassy, for a multitude of reasons, has upheld this "suspension" and communicated no desire to call it out as what it is: ludicrous.
We have received confirmation, in a few different forms, that our case will not be moving forward until the suspension has lifted. There is a lot of rumor that this could happen as soon as November but some highly respected, and connected, people in the adoption community say they are not confident it will come to fruition for some time yet.
Yesterday, our worker assured us that the agency has given clear directive to the in-country staff to file our case under the "emergency" clause. When approved (rarely) his clause allows adoptions to move forward for cases where the child:
So here's the skinny. The 411. The down low.
Our case has been completed, reviewed and is sitting on the desk of the new-ish Social Welfare Director in the Central Region of Ghana. Unlike his predecessor he is cautious, fearful maybe, of the possible repercussions of filing a case in court during the "suspension".
Now remember (or hear me if this is new to you) that this "suspension" is completely illegal! One person in Ghana has effectively halted international adoption without ever amending or enacting a law. This is very much outside of her scope but fear and money are powerful weapons and when used with purpose, vision and energy, they have the power to change a country.
Additionally, our US Embassy, for a multitude of reasons, has upheld this "suspension" and communicated no desire to call it out as what it is: ludicrous.
We have received confirmation, in a few different forms, that our case will not be moving forward until the suspension has lifted. There is a lot of rumor that this could happen as soon as November but some highly respected, and connected, people in the adoption community say they are not confident it will come to fruition for some time yet.
Yesterday, our worker assured us that the agency has given clear directive to the in-country staff to file our case under the "emergency" clause. When approved (rarely) his clause allows adoptions to move forward for cases where the child:
- Has special needs or medical conditions
- Could "age out" of eligibility (meaning they are nearing the age 16)
- Are being adopted by biological relatives
We are specifically filing under the special needs clause, arguing that the trauma he has endured (abuse, neglect, abandonment) has had a profound emotional impact and that he needs therapy, stability and a family. I am not sure if our Power of Attorney will actually get to "argue" any of this though. From what I understand, there is a man. A man who sits behind a desk. This man reviews the file and makes a determination based on his perspective of the child's health, physically and otherwise. I am praying for this man. Will you pray for him?
It's a long shot. It's our agency's last ditch effort. We will have pursued every connection, every person, every article that we have found. There will be nothing else to do except wait. Wait for the government in a developing country where poverty, bribery, corruption and evil poke its way into the abundance of beauty, resilience and hope that is Ghana.
This is where we're at.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I survived: Week 1
So today is Day 9. I know. You weren't sure you would ever read another word typed by me. Shockingly, I am still alive. Even more shocking, I haven't turned into a grouchy, mean, exhausted old lady (riiiight Honey???).
I wonder if anyone has been curious about how this week has been going. And if you are, I am guessing you are also really hoping I am not going to write about how enlightening it has been to see the world at 5 am or how I get the warm and fuzzies as I crawl into bed at 9:30 at night thinking about running in the cold, dark early morning.
Bahahahahahahah
Nope!
You know I prefer the truth. In all its grit and gore.
So here are some of the details (in respect of your time, I cant touch on every aspect of my "plan" but will rotate topics):
Monday: started out like a rock star. Ran, read, prayed, had a breakfast of champions, got to work early and had huge expectations for all the things I was going to accomplish....and that's when we fell apart. Crisis after crisis all morning sucked away all my hopes and dreams for the day. That day at work ranked in the top 5 most stressful and least satisfying days at my current job.
Tuesday: decided to kick Monday in the butt and run again. Chad ran with me. Twisted his ankle half way thru the run and we walked the rest of the way home. Read, prayed, etc. Felt tested (on day 2??? Really, give me a break!!!). That evening I went out with a few friends who noticed my mood and said something that really struck me: just be careful that you don't punish yourself for something that is out of your control. Whoa! Deep. Sharp. So real and true for me (sometimes) but never said so directly. (I could write an entire post on this)
Wednesday: Walked the dogs at 5 am. Laughed at their confusion. Read, prayed, etc. Received some encouragement in unexpected ways. Had a 4 hour "restructure" meeting at work that laid out an entire job change for me. Surprised I didn't feel more stoked about it, considering its everything I asked for. Felt drained and disconnected.
Thursday: Had the day off. Unpaid furlough. Felt like an unproductive, half-member of society. Got a lot accomplished but still felt like something very important to me had been taken away. Got a little angry. Saw God use it anyway to make me available for a conversation about faith with the most unexpected person.
Friday: Up for 2 hours in the middle of the night responding to crisis at work (of course I was on-call too this week!). Struggled to get up. Felt tired. Pulled myself together for the fall cleaning day at work. Got a HUGE boost of energy and hope when we received an update and new pictures of Kwe (So wish I could share with you. He had THE biggest smile!).
Thru all this, I still found something each day to be grateful for and a small success to journal about. I found it a tiny bit easier to ask for and expect my strength to come from God and not myself. I feel something changing...ever so slightly. I am excited to see what's time come. Intrigue is growing over what will happen in these next few months.
There is something awesome about making it through Day 8.
Sure, sticking to your plan for a whole week is amazing and gratifying but once you have made it thru that 8th day you have crossed over into some new level of commitment. One week can be wrapped up nicely with a bow on top but then you have another decision to make...another commitment for another whole week.
I wonder if anyone has been curious about how this week has been going. And if you are, I am guessing you are also really hoping I am not going to write about how enlightening it has been to see the world at 5 am or how I get the warm and fuzzies as I crawl into bed at 9:30 at night thinking about running in the cold, dark early morning.
Bahahahahahahah
Nope!
You know I prefer the truth. In all its grit and gore.
So here are some of the details (in respect of your time, I cant touch on every aspect of my "plan" but will rotate topics):
Monday: started out like a rock star. Ran, read, prayed, had a breakfast of champions, got to work early and had huge expectations for all the things I was going to accomplish....and that's when we fell apart. Crisis after crisis all morning sucked away all my hopes and dreams for the day. That day at work ranked in the top 5 most stressful and least satisfying days at my current job.
Tuesday: decided to kick Monday in the butt and run again. Chad ran with me. Twisted his ankle half way thru the run and we walked the rest of the way home. Read, prayed, etc. Felt tested (on day 2??? Really, give me a break!!!). That evening I went out with a few friends who noticed my mood and said something that really struck me: just be careful that you don't punish yourself for something that is out of your control. Whoa! Deep. Sharp. So real and true for me (sometimes) but never said so directly. (I could write an entire post on this)
Wednesday: Walked the dogs at 5 am. Laughed at their confusion. Read, prayed, etc. Received some encouragement in unexpected ways. Had a 4 hour "restructure" meeting at work that laid out an entire job change for me. Surprised I didn't feel more stoked about it, considering its everything I asked for. Felt drained and disconnected.
Thursday: Had the day off. Unpaid furlough. Felt like an unproductive, half-member of society. Got a lot accomplished but still felt like something very important to me had been taken away. Got a little angry. Saw God use it anyway to make me available for a conversation about faith with the most unexpected person.
Friday: Up for 2 hours in the middle of the night responding to crisis at work (of course I was on-call too this week!). Struggled to get up. Felt tired. Pulled myself together for the fall cleaning day at work. Got a HUGE boost of energy and hope when we received an update and new pictures of Kwe (So wish I could share with you. He had THE biggest smile!).
Thru all this, I still found something each day to be grateful for and a small success to journal about. I found it a tiny bit easier to ask for and expect my strength to come from God and not myself. I feel something changing...ever so slightly. I am excited to see what's time come. Intrigue is growing over what will happen in these next few months.
There is something awesome about making it through Day 8.
Sure, sticking to your plan for a whole week is amazing and gratifying but once you have made it thru that 8th day you have crossed over into some new level of commitment. One week can be wrapped up nicely with a bow on top but then you have another decision to make...another commitment for another whole week.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
A little self-discipline
I can be stubborn.
I rarely listen the first time. Sometimes I listen the 2nd time. Often it takes 3 or more times for something to really stand out to me. So ideas or thoughts typically stream through my mind several times before I take them very seriously.
Over the last few weeks, as my worldly hope of Kwe being home by Christmas has begun to fad, the idea of really doing something radical with this time has continually invaded my mind. Pause for a second. Before we go further, I want to explain "my worldly hope". I dont want you to be confused in where my true hope lies. I still believe that God is writing this adoption story, that He has a plan and a purpose and that He is the source of my peace. At any moment, a miracle can happen and only God would get the glory.
Now, having said all that, the fact that I am currently privy to, tell me that 'my timing' may not be 'THE timing'. Like previous times in my life, realizing that I dont have as much control over my situation as I think, I am faced with a fork in the road. I can take the kick and stay down, groaning under the weight of unfairness, bad timing and countless hoops and hurdles. I can become complacent. I can wait. Wait for the adoption ban to be lifted in Ghana, wait for my mandatory furlough days and accompanying 10% pay cut to expire, wait for our debt to slowly melt away, wait for spring to be back, wait. I can accept mediocrity.
Or?
I can see this as an unexpected opportunity. A while back Chad read a book called "The Leader Who Had No Title" by Robin Sharma. I think it was influential in sparking many of the life changes he has made. I read it (well, most of it) and put it away. A few weeks ago, I came across his website again which led to watching a few of his videos, which reminded me that achievement is a choice. I can resolve to get something out of this period of my life, rather than just longing for the next one. It would be a shame to miss the lessons I am supposed to be learning now and have to go thru them again.
Robin Sharma says that "your performance broadcasts your beliefs". If I believe that I have this choice, but cooly accept the circumstances for what they are, bumbling through life, what kind of message does that really send about who I am? I, like Mr. Sharma, believe that your "standards and commitments determine the way that you live".
So it's time for a self check.
Does my life broadcast the convictions that I hold?
I want so badly to say 'yes'. But if I am being completely transparent (and what's the point of being anything less) I know the more truthful answer is 'no'. I have been exercising less, eating worse, swearing more, watching too much tv and therefore, feeling more stressed, anxious, unhealthy and unsatisfied. There it is. The cold, hard truth.
Time for action. Time for a change. Its going to take a radical step. A big committment. I often say 'go big or go home' and I think it's because I am not good at doing things half way. It doesn't feel good and it doesn't stick.
People used to say it took only 21 days to develop a new habit. The latest research says the magic number is 66. Just to be safe, I pick 84. 12 weeks. From now (Monday, October 7) through Sunday, December 28 I am committing to:
Mental/Spiritual Discipline
Physical Discipline
Financial Discipline
I rarely listen the first time. Sometimes I listen the 2nd time. Often it takes 3 or more times for something to really stand out to me. So ideas or thoughts typically stream through my mind several times before I take them very seriously.
Over the last few weeks, as my worldly hope of Kwe being home by Christmas has begun to fad, the idea of really doing something radical with this time has continually invaded my mind. Pause for a second. Before we go further, I want to explain "my worldly hope". I dont want you to be confused in where my true hope lies. I still believe that God is writing this adoption story, that He has a plan and a purpose and that He is the source of my peace. At any moment, a miracle can happen and only God would get the glory.
Now, having said all that, the fact that I am currently privy to, tell me that 'my timing' may not be 'THE timing'. Like previous times in my life, realizing that I dont have as much control over my situation as I think, I am faced with a fork in the road. I can take the kick and stay down, groaning under the weight of unfairness, bad timing and countless hoops and hurdles. I can become complacent. I can wait. Wait for the adoption ban to be lifted in Ghana, wait for my mandatory furlough days and accompanying 10% pay cut to expire, wait for our debt to slowly melt away, wait for spring to be back, wait. I can accept mediocrity.
Or?
I can see this as an unexpected opportunity. A while back Chad read a book called "The Leader Who Had No Title" by Robin Sharma. I think it was influential in sparking many of the life changes he has made. I read it (well, most of it) and put it away. A few weeks ago, I came across his website again which led to watching a few of his videos, which reminded me that achievement is a choice. I can resolve to get something out of this period of my life, rather than just longing for the next one. It would be a shame to miss the lessons I am supposed to be learning now and have to go thru them again.
Robin Sharma says that "your performance broadcasts your beliefs". If I believe that I have this choice, but cooly accept the circumstances for what they are, bumbling through life, what kind of message does that really send about who I am? I, like Mr. Sharma, believe that your "standards and commitments determine the way that you live".
So it's time for a self check.
Does my life broadcast the convictions that I hold?
I want so badly to say 'yes'. But if I am being completely transparent (and what's the point of being anything less) I know the more truthful answer is 'no'. I have been exercising less, eating worse, swearing more, watching too much tv and therefore, feeling more stressed, anxious, unhealthy and unsatisfied. There it is. The cold, hard truth.
Time for action. Time for a change. Its going to take a radical step. A big committment. I often say 'go big or go home' and I think it's because I am not good at doing things half way. It doesn't feel good and it doesn't stick.
People used to say it took only 21 days to develop a new habit. The latest research says the magic number is 66. Just to be safe, I pick 84. 12 weeks. From now (Monday, October 7) through Sunday, December 28 I am committing to:
Mental/Spiritual Discipline
- Daily devotions - a minimum of half an hour with God
- Daily journaling - specifically recording 3 things from the previous day: a success (little or big), something I'm grateful for and something I learned
- Daily learning - I will read, watch or listen to something that expands my mind or challenges my thinking
- Practice saying "no" - sigh...
Physical Discipline
- Exercise 5 days a week, Monday - Friday - run, walk or yoga
- Eat better - gluten free & as close to vegan as possible (eggs being the exception- let's not get too crazy here!!!)
- Eat less - overeating means that your body works extra hard digesting, which wastes a ton of energy
- Drink more water - my goal is 70oz/day
- No food after 8pm - riiiiight
Financial Discipline
- Tithe 10% - I always struggle with this... ill be setting up automatic withdrawal tonight
- Spend less - enough said
- Earn more - Ill be looking for additional job opportunities to achieve our debt payoff goal ($3000 by 12/28) while also looking for things to refurbish/repurpose/make and then sell to raise adoption funds.
Unfortunately, all of this will not fit in my current life schedule. So, I am making the bold (and utterly terrifying) commitment to wake up at 5am Monday through Friday. (Um, excuse me. What did she just say?!?!?! She hates mornings!!!)
Practicing this level of self discipline for 12 weeks isnt going to be easy. I give you permission to check in with me, to challenge me and to hold me accountable. :) God knows, Ill need the help and support. Through this I hope to find an energized body, a focused mind and a renewed purpose. See ya on the flip side!
There is a method behind the madness! Check it: http://www.extremeachievementformula.com/fe/54867-how-to-wake-up-early
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Season of Change (by Chad)
As I continue to pursue life, with
Hoodie and sweatpants on, I am made fully aware that the seasons are changing,
some have already come and yet others haven’t arrived.
It is interesting how God in his
infinite power and creativity can craft a beautiful scene out of death. Fall is
a great season, the only downfall is that it is the first sign of winter
approaching. Some of the things that make it great for me are…leaves changing
color, playing in the leaves, football, delicious foods being cooked in the
oven and the aroma that comes with it, delicious beer, pumpkin lattes and
doughnuts, warm apple cider, bonfires, the coolness of night. While these
things bring me joy, it doesn’t take me more than a few seconds, in each
situation, before the cruel reality hits me. My son is sitting in the orphanage
longing to be embraced, to be loved, to be sought after.
I feel so far away from Kwe right
now. Maybe that’s because I am 5,728.7 miles away from him at any given time. I
just want to hold him in my arms and tell him how much I love him and how I
would give my life for him. In my heartache I hear God saying, 'You are
beginning to see what I experience on a daily basis with millions of my children
who want nothing to do with me. They are so far away from me and I only long to
be in relationship with them and tell them that I love them.'
We left Ghana on
August 4th and I still remember it like it was yesterday: the smell,
the people, the food, and the temperature. I don’t easily want to forget it. I’m
saddened that I’ve had to be away from my son that long. In thinking about him
being so far away, how much does God desperately want us to come home?!
Speaking of home, I’m thankful to
God for the job opportunity that he opened up for me. I was in my previous role
for 5 ½ years and I typically only had two nights at home each week. This new
position is allowing me more nights at home to spend with Shandra and to also
get projects done on the house. I never had to desire to embark on new projects
because I was usually tired or wanted to relax with the few nights I had
available. My new position is still at Wedgwood. I’m now at ETP, which stands
for Employment Training program. I still get to work with clients but now I
work outdoors doing everything from mowing, trimming, and edging lawns,
weeding, landscaping, and almost whatever the customers draw up, if it is
within our capabilities.
The other change in season seems to
be unique. I’m speaking of fatherhood. The hard reality is that I want to
father the child that God has made me responsible for, but I am still unable to
because of legality and document purposes. So, in the meantime, I’m drawing on
my heavenly Father to prepare my heart and mind for things yet unseen. I want
to share what God is developing in me! Around two years ago God stirred up a
fire in me and now I’m drawing on Him to be my fuel source so the fire doesn’t
go out. I wrestled with God most of my life but I finally got sick of playing
the on and off game. The only time I know things are going well in my life is
when I am closely connected to the Father! "I am the vine; you are
the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart
from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 This is the testimony of my tree
tattoo! One way I’m drawing from my Father is a passion for His word. “Keep
this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that
you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous
and successful.” Joshua 1:8 I crave my morning reading time, it’s my
morning meal! “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes
from the mouth of God." Matt 4:4 My prayer time is maturing and I’m
learning how to “pray without ceasing” 1 Thes. 5:17. Prayer is supposed to be
having conversation with God, right? So, why not be in constant communication
with Him?!
We can be constantly talking with our friends and family with all
the technology we have today, so why can’t we be in continuous communion with
our God who defies all human capabilities and who doesn’t need any wireless
device or app to carry a conversation with us. I don’t have to text while I’m driving,
I don’t have to wait for Him to reply to an email, I don’t have to call him on the
phone and hope that he doesn’t hit the ignore button. He is there in His
infinite power and wisdom and can carry on conversation whenever we choose to
start talking! I read lots of books and I choose to read books that challenge
my faith and walk with Christ. Here are some of the many great quotes that were
taken from my latest reading
-“The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson. “If you want
to keep growing spiritually, you need to keep stretching, by going after dreams
that are bigger than you are.” “Never put a comma where God puts a period, and
never put a period where God puts a comma.” “Praying through is the conjunction that allows God to not
just finish the sentence but to make a statement.”“We allow our circumstances
to get between God and us instead of putting God between us and our circumstances.”
One
thing that Mark really challenged me in his book was to be specific in praying
and to put deadlines on them. Not to say, I have control over this situation, but
rather that when God answers your prayer there is no doubt that it wasn’t by
coincidence or chance. Some may think that I’m trying to hard and doing too
much. I am trying hard because I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity that
He is giving me to share His love and truth because I wasn’t prepared. "But
of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son,
but the Father alone…For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man
is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.” Matt 24: 36;44 I
want to hear my Father say, “Well don’t good and faithful servant!” “And
the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the
least of these, you did it to me.” Matt 25:40 Still others may be thinking,
I just don’t have that kind of time to be doing all of that. Speaking from
personal experience, if you don’t have your guard up constantly, the enemy will
try to find ways to creep in and slowly tear you down. I’m doing my best not to
let that happen! This verse says it well and I’m reminded of it daily with my tattoo
phrase, ‘Life Life to its Fullest’. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John
10:10
So, I wish I could tell you I have
it all planned out and I know what the next steps are, but reality is I’m
taking this one day at a time. I try to make it a priority to go to God first
to seek His advice so that I’m in step with His will for my life. It’s
remarkable how things fall into place because of that! “Steep your life in God-reality,
God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all
your everyday human concerns will be met.” Matt 6:33 I want to leave you with
two clips that I love and that have be inspiration to me in my walk.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
3rd time's a charm!?
Just a quick update. We got word today that the meeting with our Power of Attorney in Ghana and the new Social Welfare Director went very well. We weren't expecting to hear on our court date so we were very happy to learn that it has been rescheduled for Wednesday, September 25th! That's NEXT WEEK!!!
This is kinda a cool thing for us because 25 is kinda our number. We tend to like things that happen on 25ths...our birthdays, our wedding anniversary, Christmas, and soon Kwe's birthday (we chose 2/25/2009). AND this court date falls on my brother's birthday (Kody)!
Praying our case makes progress this time!
See you in a week!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Canceled...again.
Hey friends,
This post does not get you off the hook for praying for us and for Kwe..in fact its just the opposite. We got a short email from our worker this evening that our hearing has been canceled for tomorrow. Again.
There arent words to describe what we feel. But its not even about us! Another day goes by that Kwe waits. It kills me. It hurts in a way that I didnt know I could hurt.
Hopefully we hear more tomorrow, about why, about when, about something.
This post does not get you off the hook for praying for us and for Kwe..in fact its just the opposite. We got a short email from our worker this evening that our hearing has been canceled for tomorrow. Again.
There arent words to describe what we feel. But its not even about us! Another day goes by that Kwe waits. It kills me. It hurts in a way that I didnt know I could hurt.
Hopefully we hear more tomorrow, about why, about when, about something.
Monday, September 9, 2013
A quick plea for prayer and positive thoughts!
Well, we definitely meant to post more about our trip over the last few weeks but once again, time got away from us.
For example, this past weekend we ran our first (and probably my only) half marathon. It was...a lot things: Beautiful, painful, emotional, comical and dreadful all at the same time. I probably wont be able to walk right for a week. Twice I nearly had panic attacks because I couldnt breath (or maybe that IS a panic attack...) and stopped running to gasp for air like a old woman who had smoked her whole life. Embarrassing. Then there were the hilarious signs posted up everyone. One of my favorites was "if your feet hurt, its just because you kicked some ass". There were also some signs that were just disturbing, like "run as if a clown is chasing you" and of course a clown was standing right there. TERRIFYING!!!!
Then there were the several occasions where i fully processed what it would be like to just quit. Who would be disappointed in me? Who would I be the most embarrassed to tell? It was as if Chad could just read my mind in those moments. His random, genuine encouragement literally carried me through the 2 1/2 hours I ran. I am 100% confident that I would not have completed it without him. Just one more example of how he has always supported and encouraged me through some of the hardest things I have done. Sigh...I really like that guy!
And then I totally cried as I crossed the finish line. I just couldnt believe it was over....and that I had lived to tell people about it!
Running on behalf of one of the most amazing organizations I have ever encountered certainly made it all worth it. Project Hopeful's mission is "Educating, encouraging and enabling families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked children for adoption." If you want to hear about an organization that is truly changing the lives of THE most overlooked children in the world all you need to do is check out their website. You will be impressed. (http://projecthopeful.org) We met some truly inspiring and selfless people this weekend.
Post-race: Chad and I with the founder of PH!
Now, back to the meaning of the post's title. Our custody court date has been scheduled and confirmed for this Wednesday, September 11th. It will be two days shy of 6 weeks after our original date but we feel so good about it. It is a significant day for several reasons and we are just so ready to be Kwe's parents. Will you please pray with us?
Pray that:
- Williams (our Power of Attorney) will have no issues with his vehicle or with traffic and that he will pick Kewku up and get to court on time and free from stress. That his mind will be clear and focused. That God will give him the right words to speak and the knowledge to know what to say and how to say it.
- The Judge hearing our case will be well rested, clear minded and have only the best interests of Kwe in mind.
- The Court staff will be diligent and pay attention to every detail so that nothing gets missed or documented incorrectly.
- That Kweku will be surrounded and filled with God's peace. That he wont be afraid or nervous but calm and curious.
We dont have the exact time (and will try to share it if we get it) but remember that Ghana is 4 hours ahead of us so feel free to start praying the second you wake up!
Thank you everyone for your continued support. We cannot wait to share his beautiful face with you all!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Meeting Little Guy
This past week, we were on the other side of the world. Fully engulfed in the Ghanaian culture that is both beautiful and heartbreaking (more on the many paradoxes in a future post).
We have been waiting for this day for so long. For at least the past 14 months, but in some ways, i think we have been waiting much longer...
Its was hard to really imagine what it would be like. How do you prepare to meet your 4 year old son for the first time? How do you guess what will feel different when your whole 6ish years of marriage, 12ish years of togetherness and 28ish years of existence have been kid-less? It certainly wasnt as glamorous as Jennifer Lopez portrayed in the movie What to Expect When you are Expecting!
I was shaking, nervous, caught off guard when they brought him in the office. They had tricked me by asking us to fill in our information in the guest book. When I looked up, he was standing there. Sleepy-eyed, confused, blank. But beyond beautiful.
In Fante (the native language) he was told "this is you mom, this is your dad, go sit with them". That was the first he had heard of us. We might not all agree that it was the "best" way to be introduced but...it's just how its done. He immediately obeyed, walking over to stand in between us. But he was so distant, his eyes so far away. Protecting himself from what could be yet another unsafe situation, physically or emotionally.
For me it was beautiful. Even in the awkwardness and the not knowing what to do. I loved him immediately. His dark eyes, his yummy chocolate skin, his tiny hands. He is perfect to me.
Our first visit was about 2 hours long and it was amazing to watch him open up with us. He played soccer with us, he traced our hands on paper, he sat on our laps while we read a book. And then he finally spoke. He opened up a small, baby book and began following the numbers, counting to ten. He has such an adorable African accent!
Our time together ended far too quickly. As soon as we said we had to leave, the little progress we made with him vanished. He was again the distant, cut off, protected little boy we saw 2 hours ago. He was very proud of his new belongings though! He quickly gathered them all up in his two little arms, struggling to hold it all: a soccer ball, a balloon and a box of sidewalk chalk. With it he proudly bounced off around the corner.
Three days later when we visited again he dropped his guard so much more quickly! In a matter of minutes he was exploring the new things we had brought him. Each time we unveiled something new out of the bag he would say "I like dees" (again, in the most adorable accent ever!). We blew up beach balls and lots of balloons. As he passed out candy to his friends, we got to see what a sweet and generous heart he has. We had brought him a granola bar assuming he was hungry (thats what a big round belly means, right?) but he only took a few bites before insisting on sharing with a smaller child. We experienced his enormous amount of energy and even got to watch him have a "bath" (aka. join in the assembly line of children being wiped down with a wet rag, lotioned up, and given a clean outfit). He told Chad he liked him and gave him an unsolicited hug. When I stepped away to go to the bathroom, Chad swears he that he asked "where's ma"? I hope he did.
Then we gave him a brightly covered, soft photo book with six pictures of us from this past year. Before we even got to the second page he had grabbed it away, and was hugging it, laying his head on the cover. I cried a little. We tried to explain to him that he wasnt to share this. This book was only for him. The only linkage we would have while we all waited.
Then it came time to leave. For real. It was so much harder than I could have ever prepared for. We said we had to go now. And he went cold again. After as much progress as we had made it broke my heart to see him disconnect. He grabbed his photo book and again began tucking his meager possessions under his arms. We hugged him, kissed him and told him we loved him, in English and Fante.
Then with every ounce of muscle I have, I forced my unwilling self to walk away. I cried. I cried again when we were waiting to board our plane out of Ghana, knowing we were soon to be half a world away. I am crying now as I type. I miss him. I am worried about his health and safety.
They day after we returned I read the following devotional:
I was reminded again (how many times do I need that reminder?) that He has brought us this far. He has written this story and knows the beginning and the end (Jeremiah 29:11-13) and he promises not to leave his children as orphans (John 14:8).
We have been waiting for this day for so long. For at least the past 14 months, but in some ways, i think we have been waiting much longer...
Its was hard to really imagine what it would be like. How do you prepare to meet your 4 year old son for the first time? How do you guess what will feel different when your whole 6ish years of marriage, 12ish years of togetherness and 28ish years of existence have been kid-less? It certainly wasnt as glamorous as Jennifer Lopez portrayed in the movie What to Expect When you are Expecting!
I was shaking, nervous, caught off guard when they brought him in the office. They had tricked me by asking us to fill in our information in the guest book. When I looked up, he was standing there. Sleepy-eyed, confused, blank. But beyond beautiful.
The office where we first met
For me it was beautiful. Even in the awkwardness and the not knowing what to do. I loved him immediately. His dark eyes, his yummy chocolate skin, his tiny hands. He is perfect to me.
Our first visit was about 2 hours long and it was amazing to watch him open up with us. He played soccer with us, he traced our hands on paper, he sat on our laps while we read a book. And then he finally spoke. He opened up a small, baby book and began following the numbers, counting to ten. He has such an adorable African accent!
Our time together ended far too quickly. As soon as we said we had to leave, the little progress we made with him vanished. He was again the distant, cut off, protected little boy we saw 2 hours ago. He was very proud of his new belongings though! He quickly gathered them all up in his two little arms, struggling to hold it all: a soccer ball, a balloon and a box of sidewalk chalk. With it he proudly bounced off around the corner.
Three days later when we visited again he dropped his guard so much more quickly! In a matter of minutes he was exploring the new things we had brought him. Each time we unveiled something new out of the bag he would say "I like dees" (again, in the most adorable accent ever!). We blew up beach balls and lots of balloons. As he passed out candy to his friends, we got to see what a sweet and generous heart he has. We had brought him a granola bar assuming he was hungry (thats what a big round belly means, right?) but he only took a few bites before insisting on sharing with a smaller child. We experienced his enormous amount of energy and even got to watch him have a "bath" (aka. join in the assembly line of children being wiped down with a wet rag, lotioned up, and given a clean outfit). He told Chad he liked him and gave him an unsolicited hug. When I stepped away to go to the bathroom, Chad swears he that he asked "where's ma"? I hope he did.
Then we gave him a brightly covered, soft photo book with six pictures of us from this past year. Before we even got to the second page he had grabbed it away, and was hugging it, laying his head on the cover. I cried a little. We tried to explain to him that he wasnt to share this. This book was only for him. The only linkage we would have while we all waited.
Then it came time to leave. For real. It was so much harder than I could have ever prepared for. We said we had to go now. And he went cold again. After as much progress as we had made it broke my heart to see him disconnect. He grabbed his photo book and again began tucking his meager possessions under his arms. We hugged him, kissed him and told him we loved him, in English and Fante.
Then with every ounce of muscle I have, I forced my unwilling self to walk away. I cried. I cried again when we were waiting to board our plane out of Ghana, knowing we were soon to be half a world away. I am crying now as I type. I miss him. I am worried about his health and safety.
They day after we returned I read the following devotional:
"When things seem to be going all wrong, stop and affirm your trust in Me. Calmly bring these matters to Me and leave them in My capable hands. Then, simply do the next thing. Stay in touch with Me through thankful, trusting prayers, resting in My sovereign control".
- Jesus Calling
I was reminded again (how many times do I need that reminder?) that He has brought us this far. He has written this story and knows the beginning and the end (Jeremiah 29:11-13) and he promises not to leave his children as orphans (John 14:8).
Sunday, July 28, 2013
[Needs no title]
There arent words to describe right now. This moment. 12:17am, Monday, July 29, 2013. There is no title this post that would be good enough.
This is it.
And it's been a long day....
I dont type that hoping for sympathy, or even empathy. Just to state that if you find a few typos or a sentence that doesn't quite flow, maybe you can lend me some grace! :)
So here is the recap:
- Tuesday night: We got confirmation that we needed to be in Ghana for court that next week
- Wednesday- we met with our case worker, booked our flights and overnighted our VISA applications to the consulate
- Thursday- I canceled our flights because the plan sucked and we started over. We found awesome flights! Chad also put in his resignation at his current position (of 5+ years)! He is following God's leading and provision to move into a different position with the youth employment training program at Wedgwood. It provides an incredible amount of flexibility that will be awesome when little guy is home.
- Friday & Saturday- we had our fundraiser yard sale and it was awesome! We raised over $2500 in two days. Again, we met some amazing people, heard some touching adoption stories and received encouragement from several random strangers. First of all, God gets all the glory! For the timing of the sale with the financial cost of the tickets. It really is amazing how He pulls things together. Second, we have a lot of people to thank...again... and again, there is truly is no sufficient way to express the gratitude we feel for our friends who made this happen. You know who you are and we hope you know how much you mean to us.
- Sunday- Ran more errands and packed. I think I feel ready. As ready as we can be, I guess... I have had Chad check my bags several times since I usually forget something important.
We aren't convinced that the true, unbridled excitement has kicked in yet...mostly we have felt some eclectic mix of nerves, stress and excitement.
We have thought and talked through the hundred different ways meeting little Kweku could go... It literally shakes me on the inside to know that I will be meeting my son in a few days. It is unfathomable that in as soon as next Friday, I could legally be a parent....responsible for a little person...even if he is half a world away from me. It doesnt really matter, does it? People say that your parental instincts just kick in automatically. Mine seem to be in overdrive right about now. Blame it on the lack of sleep, the 2nd glass of wine im drinking or in the plain and simple truth that this is it...the moment I have been waiting for....waiting since the fist time I heard about adoption and knew it was for me!
Anyway... we will keep you posted as bet as we can. We fly out of Detroit Monday evening and will likely have sporadic and unreliable internet access in Africa.
Sigh... (the happy, full kind)
Hmmm, I really did think this would be short and sweet...I tend to ramble when I am tired! :)
This is it.
And it's been a long day....
I dont type that hoping for sympathy, or even empathy. Just to state that if you find a few typos or a sentence that doesn't quite flow, maybe you can lend me some grace! :)
So here is the recap:
- Tuesday night: We got confirmation that we needed to be in Ghana for court that next week
- Wednesday- we met with our case worker, booked our flights and overnighted our VISA applications to the consulate
- Thursday- I canceled our flights because the plan sucked and we started over. We found awesome flights! Chad also put in his resignation at his current position (of 5+ years)! He is following God's leading and provision to move into a different position with the youth employment training program at Wedgwood. It provides an incredible amount of flexibility that will be awesome when little guy is home.
- Friday & Saturday- we had our fundraiser yard sale and it was awesome! We raised over $2500 in two days. Again, we met some amazing people, heard some touching adoption stories and received encouragement from several random strangers. First of all, God gets all the glory! For the timing of the sale with the financial cost of the tickets. It really is amazing how He pulls things together. Second, we have a lot of people to thank...again... and again, there is truly is no sufficient way to express the gratitude we feel for our friends who made this happen. You know who you are and we hope you know how much you mean to us.
- Sunday- Ran more errands and packed. I think I feel ready. As ready as we can be, I guess... I have had Chad check my bags several times since I usually forget something important.
We aren't convinced that the true, unbridled excitement has kicked in yet...mostly we have felt some eclectic mix of nerves, stress and excitement.
We have thought and talked through the hundred different ways meeting little Kweku could go... It literally shakes me on the inside to know that I will be meeting my son in a few days. It is unfathomable that in as soon as next Friday, I could legally be a parent....responsible for a little person...even if he is half a world away from me. It doesnt really matter, does it? People say that your parental instincts just kick in automatically. Mine seem to be in overdrive right about now. Blame it on the lack of sleep, the 2nd glass of wine im drinking or in the plain and simple truth that this is it...the moment I have been waiting for....waiting since the fist time I heard about adoption and knew it was for me!
Anyway... we will keep you posted as bet as we can. We fly out of Detroit Monday evening and will likely have sporadic and unreliable internet access in Africa.
Sigh... (the happy, full kind)
Hmmm, I really did think this would be short and sweet...I tend to ramble when I am tired! :)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Travel Plans
It has been a whirlwind of a day...
Chad and I ran errands from 9am to 4pm today trying to get all the paperwork together for our trip.
As a quick summary, we each saw our doctors for signed medical forms stating we are healthy enough to adopt (whew...) :) - had those notarized - had them state sealed. We filled out our tourist visa applications (a visa is required to get into Ghana- in addition to a passport) which of course required our full travel itinerary so we booked our flights (see more below)! Then we got passport photos taken (for the visas) - super rush/overnight mailed our visa applications, travel itinerary and $400 to the consulate (praying they print tomorrow and overnight them back here by Saturday...or else we miss our flights).
We leave from JFK airport this Monday night! We will arrive in Ghana Tuesday night and be there for 5 nights, back next week Monday/Tuesday. At this point, i cant find a flight from anywhere in Michigan to JFK for a price worth considering (currently they are $700+ each) so we are considering driving. Which seems crazy with how little time we have.
Whew...my head is spinning with everything that has to be done. While I know it will all come together this feels very chaotic and unorganized...which are two things that are generally difficult for me ;)... Keep us all in your prayers! Thanks!
Chad and I ran errands from 9am to 4pm today trying to get all the paperwork together for our trip.
As a quick summary, we each saw our doctors for signed medical forms stating we are healthy enough to adopt (whew...) :) - had those notarized - had them state sealed. We filled out our tourist visa applications (a visa is required to get into Ghana- in addition to a passport) which of course required our full travel itinerary so we booked our flights (see more below)! Then we got passport photos taken (for the visas) - super rush/overnight mailed our visa applications, travel itinerary and $400 to the consulate (praying they print tomorrow and overnight them back here by Saturday...or else we miss our flights).
We leave from JFK airport this Monday night! We will arrive in Ghana Tuesday night and be there for 5 nights, back next week Monday/Tuesday. At this point, i cant find a flight from anywhere in Michigan to JFK for a price worth considering (currently they are $700+ each) so we are considering driving. Which seems crazy with how little time we have.
Whew...my head is spinning with everything that has to be done. While I know it will all come together this feels very chaotic and unorganized...which are two things that are generally difficult for me ;)... Keep us all in your prayers! Thanks!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
We're goin to Ghana!!!
We barely believe what is about to be typed...
Just this morning, we received an email from our caseworker informing us that our custody court date in Ghana has been scheduled!!! "When?" (you might be asking).
...for next week Friday...
WHAT!?!?!?!?
I know, right???
We totally thought this part of the process would take longer (whatever! We have known this was coming for over a year- (its kinda like when people say that Christmas snuck up on them...) that's just silly)...we thought we would have more notice on our court date (you know I am totally freaking out right now!)...but in reality this is just about right. :)
Isnt this how God works?
The weekend we are scheduled to have what could be our biggest fundraiser yet, is the same weekend we will need to book two last minute flights to Ghana costing somewhere in the ball park of $4000+. We have always had just enough, just in time...
Stay tuned!
Just this morning, we received an email from our caseworker informing us that our custody court date in Ghana has been scheduled!!! "When?" (you might be asking).
...for next week Friday...
WHAT!?!?!?!?
I know, right???
We are heading to Ghana in 7 days!
We will meet our son in 9 days!
We could legally be parents in 10 days!
We totally thought this part of the process would take longer (whatever! We have known this was coming for over a year- (its kinda like when people say that Christmas snuck up on them...) that's just silly)...we thought we would have more notice on our court date (you know I am totally freaking out right now!)...but in reality this is just about right. :)
Isnt this how God works?
The weekend we are scheduled to have what could be our biggest fundraiser yet, is the same weekend we will need to book two last minute flights to Ghana costing somewhere in the ball park of $4000+. We have always had just enough, just in time...
Stay tuned!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
It's a........BOY!!!
The words we have been waiting to type!!! We have finally
received a referral for a 4 year old boy in Ghana! Wahoo!!!!
Do the happy dance…ya….ya…do the happy dance…!!!
Ok, so you might be asking, “What, I thought Ghana had
suspended their adoption program….i thought this was impossible”? Well, the
easy answer is yes and yes but we will get to that part later.
But first, more about our little (big) guy! His name is
Kweku Rahit Abubakar. He has been living in orphanages for a while as he was
abandoned by his father as a baby and more recently left at the Department of
Social Welfare by his mother, who since has been unable to be located.
He is said to be “exceptionally bright” and is now staying
at a well known and caring orphanage in the Central Region. We received two pictures of him and
words cannot describe how adorable he is. Each picture tells a very different
story of the challenges he has faced already in his little life. There is so
much to discover in those dark eyes. Unfortunately, it is illegal to share
photos electronically until after we pass court and doing so could jeopardize
our adoption so im sorry, but many of you will have to wait to see his
beautiful face (or you can just come for a visit as he is hanging on our
fridge)!
Now we wait for confirmation that our Placement Letter has
been filed. This is the document that is submitted to the court in Ghana were
we specifically request to adopt Kewku. This will trigger our court date being
set. We are hoping for a court date in September and will plan to go to
represent ourselves. This is somewhat uncommon as an agency’s Power of Attorney
typically goes on behalf of families but after consulting with them we have
decided that it may look better for us to be there.
After that we should be able to get updates and pictures
more regularly as it is common courtesy
when you are visiting Ghana to offer to take pictures/videos of other people’s
children.
Ok, so back to the less fun part of this…the process,
politics and pursuit.
The moment we heard about Kweku and received his information
we both experienced incredible peace about moving forward. We were the only
family still on the waiting list in Ghana. Some felt called to something
different, we felt called to stay. We knew there was a reason and now we
believe that it was Kweku.
It seems to be a miracle that we even received a referral
with how rocky things are in Ghana. He is fortunate to be from one of the few
regions still pushing adoptions through where the Social Welfare Director has
spoken outwardly about his belief in and commitment to international adoption
as one option for orphaned children.
Its God confirming again how big He truly is.
So even as we ask you to celebrate this huge step with us and
we say we have so much peace about moving forward, something dark tells me not
to get too excited, not to get other people excited, because so many things
could still go wrong. Technically the suspension is still in place. There are
people along the way that seem to be doing everything in their power to prevent
or at least delay children from coming home even after the adoption is considered
final. There are many huge and terrifying mountains ahead. The truth is that
not many people seem to know exactly what is going on. Some say only one agency
in the US is able to continue processing adoptions (not the agency we are
with), some say we may need an international adoption attorney, some just say
“your crazy for doing this at all”.
But…
Although we will face seemingly impossible mountains, walk
many uncertain and rocky roads, see dark days, probably be tempted to feel
hopeless or to jump at quick decisions that help us feel more in control, the
real TRUTH is that our God, the one who loved Kweku before he was even
conceived, can see around every mountain and to the end of every rocky road. He
will be Light in the darkness and the One that we will continue to put all of
our trust and faith in. Our hope will not be found in politics, process or people.
So while there is a tiny part of me that is nervous to tell
you all about Kweku because I cant imagine having to tell you if something goes
wrong, its more important to me that you know so that you can continue to pray.
Some specific prayer requests are:
·
Clear guidance, that our hearts and minds would
be open to whatever God is calling us to, that worry would be shut out by faith
and that we will daily give up trying to control any of this and put it all
squarely in God’s hands.
·
Protection, provision and health for Kweku.
·
That even now, God would begin to work in his
little heart, preparing him for what lies ahead and healing the
emotional/psychological hurts he has already unfairly endured.
·
The financial means for us to do whatever it
takes to bring him home. God has already provided every step of the way and we
are confident that He will continue to do so.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Starting over...
I tried really hard to title this post something different.
I have been debating it all day. I wanted my fingers to type something like: "A fresh start" or "Unwavering" or even "Explosive trust and quiet resolve". That's a good one.
But they typed the truth- straight up.
We are starting over.
Ghana officially suspended their international adoption program on May 13. Smart people doubt that the suspension will be lifted...ever, i guess. I wish I could eloquently list all their reasons but to be honest I just dont know what they are. Some imply that it is to push internal reform and promote domestic adoption. Maybe. But then I ask, what about all the children who are sitting in orphanages today, waiting, while 'they' debate reform? Arent they concerned about what happens in the in between time?
I am upset. Angry actually. Once again, children are the pawns in a political game.
I am sad. Is mourning too strong of a word? I feel like I have lost something, something that I was quite attached to: an idea, a picture in a my head, the child ive bought clothes for. A friend said that what I am feeling may be similar to what someone dealing with a miscarriage may experience. Humans just attach to other humans, sometimes rather quickly, sometimes before they even meet each other. It's a fact.
So, where do we go from here? After talking through all of our options and really trying to figure out what God is doing here (and wishing we actually knew) we have decided to be added to the waiting list for Ethiopia. We will leave our dossier (that really big stack of paperwork) in Ghana in case things change and we will begin compiling a new dossier for Ethiopia.
We really never thought we would go there, for lots of reasons. We have felt so drawn to the west side of Africa. We know nothing about Ethiopia.
The facts are still the same though. It is a poor, war-torn, disease-ravaged country. There are many, many orphans. Because programs in Ethiopia have been "popular" there is a long waiting list (we are somewhere in the 50's I believe) but we are told there are few who are willing to consider an "older child" (over the age of 3) or a child with special needs (like HIV) or even sibling sets. So, that is exactly what we are open to. Maybe things will move quickly! Maybe they wont.
Here's to the first step!!
I have been debating it all day. I wanted my fingers to type something like: "A fresh start" or "Unwavering" or even "Explosive trust and quiet resolve". That's a good one.
But they typed the truth- straight up.
We are starting over.
Ghana officially suspended their international adoption program on May 13. Smart people doubt that the suspension will be lifted...ever, i guess. I wish I could eloquently list all their reasons but to be honest I just dont know what they are. Some imply that it is to push internal reform and promote domestic adoption. Maybe. But then I ask, what about all the children who are sitting in orphanages today, waiting, while 'they' debate reform? Arent they concerned about what happens in the in between time?
I am upset. Angry actually. Once again, children are the pawns in a political game.
I am sad. Is mourning too strong of a word? I feel like I have lost something, something that I was quite attached to: an idea, a picture in a my head, the child ive bought clothes for. A friend said that what I am feeling may be similar to what someone dealing with a miscarriage may experience. Humans just attach to other humans, sometimes rather quickly, sometimes before they even meet each other. It's a fact.
So, where do we go from here? After talking through all of our options and really trying to figure out what God is doing here (and wishing we actually knew) we have decided to be added to the waiting list for Ethiopia. We will leave our dossier (that really big stack of paperwork) in Ghana in case things change and we will begin compiling a new dossier for Ethiopia.
We really never thought we would go there, for lots of reasons. We have felt so drawn to the west side of Africa. We know nothing about Ethiopia.
The facts are still the same though. It is a poor, war-torn, disease-ravaged country. There are many, many orphans. Because programs in Ethiopia have been "popular" there is a long waiting list (we are somewhere in the 50's I believe) but we are told there are few who are willing to consider an "older child" (over the age of 3) or a child with special needs (like HIV) or even sibling sets. So, that is exactly what we are open to. Maybe things will move quickly! Maybe they wont.
Here's to the first step!!
~
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you"- John 14:18
~
"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you"
- James 1:27
Saturday, May 11, 2013
A little somthin' about being stuck
Wow, its been a while... I find myself repeatedly saying "Ill write a blog post as soon as _______ (fill in the blank) happens because it will make for a great read". Then several weeks go by and something weird happens...i dont write ANYTHING. Not because things arent happening and changing or because I am not thinking things, my brain rarely stops (melatonin has become my friend!).
Chad and I recently went to see the film "Stuck".
Powerful.
Heartbreaking.
Enraging.
Emotionally draining.
Just a few words that describe the experience. If you havent seen it, PLEASE do. Its more than a movie, its a bright light shining on a very hidden social justice issue. The film is finishing up its international tour on the East coast this week and finally arriving in DC on Thursday to present 30,000 signatures (hopefully! (you signed it right?)) to congress followed by countless meetings with legislators and representatives wrapped up with a march on Capital Hill.
This movement is about changing the way the world does international adoption. As Chad and I have been in this journey we have learned SO much about what is happening (and not!) behind the scenes. The corruption, politics and red tape makes me physically sick because I know its at the cost of innocent children. 1 of which dies every 30 seconds from preventable causes. Ugh.
Over the last several weeks we have been getting bits of information here and there about the new Minister of Gender, Children and Social Protection in Ghana and her persuasion and impact on the processing of international adoptions. We heard from one source that she advised a cease in adoption petitions being signed until major reform can take place and as a result many regional social welfare directors have halted all pending cases. Apparently she is a determined lady because word has it that she has already fired some of her staff for insubordination. To be clear though, no laws have changed making international adoption illegal and furthermore, she doesn't have the legal authority to do so.
Now to be clear, I dont think that international adoption should be the only option for a child and reform IS needed. Badly! There should be many options available for each orphan and whichever one gets them out of an institution and into a safe, loving family the quickest should be pursued. But seriously...halting everything to reform the system literally means that many waiting children will have NO HOPE for a family. Every day that goes by, every year older a child turns, their chances of being adopted plummet. Its just the truth. The hard truth.
So here is where we beg for your help!
1. Continue to pray for orphans all over the world, for them to be safe and comforted and provided for. Pray for softened hearts for our leaders all over the world. What a heavy weight of power they hold.
2. Sign the petition. Join Chad and I in demanding change. We cannot be idle now. We will not be quiet.
3. Get involved. There are so many ways. One place to start is to watch the film (you can borrow it from us!). Then tell a friend about it. And make sure you both sign the petition! :)
Chad and I recently went to see the film "Stuck".
Powerful.
Heartbreaking.
Enraging.
Emotionally draining.
Just a few words that describe the experience. If you havent seen it, PLEASE do. Its more than a movie, its a bright light shining on a very hidden social justice issue. The film is finishing up its international tour on the East coast this week and finally arriving in DC on Thursday to present 30,000 signatures (hopefully! (you signed it right?)) to congress followed by countless meetings with legislators and representatives wrapped up with a march on Capital Hill.
This movement is about changing the way the world does international adoption. As Chad and I have been in this journey we have learned SO much about what is happening (and not!) behind the scenes. The corruption, politics and red tape makes me physically sick because I know its at the cost of innocent children. 1 of which dies every 30 seconds from preventable causes. Ugh.
Over the last several weeks we have been getting bits of information here and there about the new Minister of Gender, Children and Social Protection in Ghana and her persuasion and impact on the processing of international adoptions. We heard from one source that she advised a cease in adoption petitions being signed until major reform can take place and as a result many regional social welfare directors have halted all pending cases. Apparently she is a determined lady because word has it that she has already fired some of her staff for insubordination. To be clear though, no laws have changed making international adoption illegal and furthermore, she doesn't have the legal authority to do so.
Now to be clear, I dont think that international adoption should be the only option for a child and reform IS needed. Badly! There should be many options available for each orphan and whichever one gets them out of an institution and into a safe, loving family the quickest should be pursued. But seriously...halting everything to reform the system literally means that many waiting children will have NO HOPE for a family. Every day that goes by, every year older a child turns, their chances of being adopted plummet. Its just the truth. The hard truth.
So here is where we beg for your help!
1. Continue to pray for orphans all over the world, for them to be safe and comforted and provided for. Pray for softened hearts for our leaders all over the world. What a heavy weight of power they hold.
2. Sign the petition. Join Chad and I in demanding change. We cannot be idle now. We will not be quiet.
3. Get involved. There are so many ways. One place to start is to watch the film (you can borrow it from us!). Then tell a friend about it. And make sure you both sign the petition! :)
Sunday, March 31, 2013
He's Alive and I'm Forgiven!
"There is nothing to fear here. I know you're looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. He is not here. He was raised, just as He said. Come and look at the place where he was placed."
Matthew 28:5-6
It is a beautiful day! Even though it's a bit cloudy and cold here is West Michigan we are reminded of the promise of spring. A fresh start.
Christ took all of our sin to the cross, even the ones we haven't yet committed or aren't even aware of! All the sin of the past, present and future. How heavy it must have been... His sacrifice ensured that you and I could be covered by grace and be blameless before God.
Even though this is truly a day of joy I find that my heart is still so heavy.
For so many things. For so many people. For those around me who are experiencing unimaginable pain, those who are drifting without purpose, and especially for those who are alone. During this morning's service I found myself thinking about my little one. Wondering if he is alone. Praying that he hasn't given up on crying out because he thinks no one is coming. Hoping that every cell of his little body feels God's presence and protection. Even though I long for him and pray for his safety constantly, I am comforted knowing that my God loves him even more. He is not my son, he is God's son. And there is no greater love.
So I am both overflowing with joy and ripping apart with pain. How do both exist together?
I guess that is what Christ promises his followers. Not that it would be easy or that we would not feel pain but that knowing the One Truth would give us hope. So that we can know that this world is only the beginning and that there is so much more to come. All the while, we are to engage in the brokenness, and live where injustice and darkness are bountiful.
I hold on to that hope. My joy is renewed with every reminder that the stone has been rolled away and the tomb is empty.
I know that my Redeemer lives!!!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The Great Wait Debate
I decided earlier today that I wanted to blog tonight. Then I got home, ate dinner, did the dishes and got tired. I have been battling a cold for what seems like eternity and I just didn't feel inspired. I didn't feel like writing.
So I read. A good friend recently gave me a copy of "Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge"(Mark Batterson). I am a sucker for two things: a challenge and a good cause. The title of this book seemed to throw a little bit of both at me. The challenge for today was "Don't Pray Away". The quick and dirty is that we too often pray 'get me out' prayers, asking for our circumstances to change when sometimes we should be praying 'get me through' prayers and asking for change within ourselves. Hmmm. Surprisingly, this parallels something else that has been on my mind the last few days. Something that I have equally little discernment in.
I am afraid that too many people wait for too long for far too many things. If only 8% of the world's "Christians" adopted an orphan, the orphan crisis would be over...that statistic alone proves that we wait, process, doubt and over analyze ourselves to death. Literally. Sometimes I wonder if God is ever 'up there' screaming at us to JUST DO SOMETHING!!! I agree with Mr. Batterson that trying and missing is better than never trying at all.
On the other hand, my wonderful husband recently reminded me of the story of Abraham and Sarah and how they wanted a child so badly for soooo long that they took matters into their own hands by having Sarah's maid be the one to get pregnant. They veered off the path a bit and God still kept His promise and Sarah had a baby...it just came a little later and under slightly different circumstances. Then there are the infamous Israelites who wondered around in the dessert aimlessly for 40 years. Each time their faith got rattled they too took matters into their own hands and so they got to wonder around some more. I (like Batterson) don't want my shortsighted-ness to short-curciut God's perfect plan.
So this is the dilemma. All the waiting families were invited to a conference call on Tuesday with the staff who have just returned from an extended trip in Ghana. Overall, the message was positive. They made some new relationships with orphanage directors and strengthened old ones. At the same time, there was a very clear message that things aren't progressing as quickly as they had hoped, the understanding and support of international adoption isn't as developed as they would like and the children who are currently waiting (that their single staff person in Ghana is aware of) are older or have special needs. This was all to emphasize their point that this is still going to be a long process...
So what does that mean for us? It could be days, it could be months before we get that phone call? Do we sit back and wait patiently, trusting that God's timing is always better than ours? OR do we step out in faith even further and employ some of our newly developed connections (that God gave us for a reason) to search for a waiting child on our own. Is God wanting to grow us by waiting or has His leading been clear enough? Either way I can be at peace. I just want to know.
I just don't know if my heart can break much more for the lonely little boy who is out there waiting for someone to come to him. Waiting for us.
So I read. A good friend recently gave me a copy of "Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge"(Mark Batterson). I am a sucker for two things: a challenge and a good cause. The title of this book seemed to throw a little bit of both at me. The challenge for today was "Don't Pray Away". The quick and dirty is that we too often pray 'get me out' prayers, asking for our circumstances to change when sometimes we should be praying 'get me through' prayers and asking for change within ourselves. Hmmm. Surprisingly, this parallels something else that has been on my mind the last few days. Something that I have equally little discernment in.
How do you know when you are supposed to take a step in faith and
when you are supposed to wait for God to make the way clear?
I am afraid that too many people wait for too long for far too many things. If only 8% of the world's "Christians" adopted an orphan, the orphan crisis would be over...that statistic alone proves that we wait, process, doubt and over analyze ourselves to death. Literally. Sometimes I wonder if God is ever 'up there' screaming at us to JUST DO SOMETHING!!! I agree with Mr. Batterson that trying and missing is better than never trying at all.
On the other hand, my wonderful husband recently reminded me of the story of Abraham and Sarah and how they wanted a child so badly for soooo long that they took matters into their own hands by having Sarah's maid be the one to get pregnant. They veered off the path a bit and God still kept His promise and Sarah had a baby...it just came a little later and under slightly different circumstances. Then there are the infamous Israelites who wondered around in the dessert aimlessly for 40 years. Each time their faith got rattled they too took matters into their own hands and so they got to wonder around some more. I (like Batterson) don't want my shortsighted-ness to short-curciut God's perfect plan.
So this is the dilemma. All the waiting families were invited to a conference call on Tuesday with the staff who have just returned from an extended trip in Ghana. Overall, the message was positive. They made some new relationships with orphanage directors and strengthened old ones. At the same time, there was a very clear message that things aren't progressing as quickly as they had hoped, the understanding and support of international adoption isn't as developed as they would like and the children who are currently waiting (that their single staff person in Ghana is aware of) are older or have special needs. This was all to emphasize their point that this is still going to be a long process...
So what does that mean for us? It could be days, it could be months before we get that phone call? Do we sit back and wait patiently, trusting that God's timing is always better than ours? OR do we step out in faith even further and employ some of our newly developed connections (that God gave us for a reason) to search for a waiting child on our own. Is God wanting to grow us by waiting or has His leading been clear enough? Either way I can be at peace. I just want to know.
I just don't know if my heart can break much more for the lonely little boy who is out there waiting for someone to come to him. Waiting for us.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
What is the greatest need? Part 2
I have to start with an apology. I really didnt mean for there to be so much time between the last post and this one. I swear, this wasnt meant to be a cruel joke and I certainly hope no one was holding their breath waiting for part 2! :)
Ok, now that we have that covered...take a deep breath, because this is a long post :)
I have really gotten into blogging. Its like always have a new short story from your favorite author! Several weeks ago, I stumbled across a blog post titled "An Adoption Math Problem". It basically stated how imbalanced the demand is to the need. UNICEF has reported that of the millions of orphans in the world, 95% are over the age of 5 or are considered special needs. She boldly called out those who say they want to "help", to balance this equation. Needless to say, I spent the next several hours scouring the internet for a contradictory statistic. There wasnt one. It is true.
Our dossier has been in Ghana since mid-October. Each month since then we have received a group email that includes a list of waiting families with the gender and age range they have selected. Reading it in January, it stood out to us more than before that the majority of families were waiting for something similar to us: young children (under 5) and most likely healthy (although I am making some minor assumptions here). Something just didn't sit right. It didn't feel right.
We realized that we had stopped asking the question. We had gotten comfortable and now we were on a slow-moving waiting list...one that we weren't sure necessarily needed us. So we scheduled a phone call with our caseworker and asked the question again. What is the greatest need? I think she was a little surprised but she patiently explained that 3 groups of children wait the longest, sometimes indefinitely. They are kids who are over the age of 5, have sickle cell anemia, or who are HIV+. Hearing this information we began to explore, research, talk and pray through each one. What would it be like to go from just the two of us to being parents of an 8 year old...? How would a child with sickle cell fit into our fast paced, active lifestyle? Are we strong enough to raise a child who has HIV- the most stigmatized, discriminated, taboo disease in the world?
As we talked through these options, one began to stand out among the rest. It began to feel more uncomfortable and exactly right at the same time. Through casual conversation with other friends who are adopting from Ghana (and who in some ways, had planted the original seed about exploring adopting a child with HIV) we found out about projecthopeful.org. We poured over this website and many others absorbing as much information as we possibly could. The very next day, we were meeting these friends at Costco and they introduce us to another friend, who just 'happens' to work for Project Hopeful and has adopted 2 children from Africa, one of which is HIV+. The entire drive home Chad and I talked about how crazy the timing of this meeting was. No way was that a coincidence!!!
A week later I was blown away again as I found myself at Friday's with a group of women, most of which I had never met, but who were all somewhere along the adoption journey. They talked opening and confidently about how God calls Christians to care for the "least of these" and how perfect a fit is an orphaned child who is dying of a incurable disease, in an impoverished country with little access to lifesaving resources.
Fast forward a few weeks. We feel confident that God is calling us to broaden our "request" to include a little boy that may have HIV. While weeks and months have been passing since our dossier arrived in Ghana, God has been building up this support network all around us for purposes that we didnt even know yet! We got the sense from our caseworker that things will move along quickly. And we are ready.
The first two chapters of the book of James contain some of my favorite scriptures. Reading them again yesterday, the fear and uncertainty that creeps up every now and then was put back in its place as I was comforted in the promise that God is there when we call for help...and that the fullness of life is promised to those whose faith and works align.
Ok, now that we have that covered...take a deep breath, because this is a long post :)
I have really gotten into blogging. Its like always have a new short story from your favorite author! Several weeks ago, I stumbled across a blog post titled "An Adoption Math Problem". It basically stated how imbalanced the demand is to the need. UNICEF has reported that of the millions of orphans in the world, 95% are over the age of 5 or are considered special needs. She boldly called out those who say they want to "help", to balance this equation. Needless to say, I spent the next several hours scouring the internet for a contradictory statistic. There wasnt one. It is true.
Our dossier has been in Ghana since mid-October. Each month since then we have received a group email that includes a list of waiting families with the gender and age range they have selected. Reading it in January, it stood out to us more than before that the majority of families were waiting for something similar to us: young children (under 5) and most likely healthy (although I am making some minor assumptions here). Something just didn't sit right. It didn't feel right.
We realized that we had stopped asking the question. We had gotten comfortable and now we were on a slow-moving waiting list...one that we weren't sure necessarily needed us. So we scheduled a phone call with our caseworker and asked the question again. What is the greatest need? I think she was a little surprised but she patiently explained that 3 groups of children wait the longest, sometimes indefinitely. They are kids who are over the age of 5, have sickle cell anemia, or who are HIV+. Hearing this information we began to explore, research, talk and pray through each one. What would it be like to go from just the two of us to being parents of an 8 year old...? How would a child with sickle cell fit into our fast paced, active lifestyle? Are we strong enough to raise a child who has HIV- the most stigmatized, discriminated, taboo disease in the world?
As we talked through these options, one began to stand out among the rest. It began to feel more uncomfortable and exactly right at the same time. Through casual conversation with other friends who are adopting from Ghana (and who in some ways, had planted the original seed about exploring adopting a child with HIV) we found out about projecthopeful.org. We poured over this website and many others absorbing as much information as we possibly could. The very next day, we were meeting these friends at Costco and they introduce us to another friend, who just 'happens' to work for Project Hopeful and has adopted 2 children from Africa, one of which is HIV+. The entire drive home Chad and I talked about how crazy the timing of this meeting was. No way was that a coincidence!!!
A week later I was blown away again as I found myself at Friday's with a group of women, most of which I had never met, but who were all somewhere along the adoption journey. They talked opening and confidently about how God calls Christians to care for the "least of these" and how perfect a fit is an orphaned child who is dying of a incurable disease, in an impoverished country with little access to lifesaving resources.
Fast forward a few weeks. We feel confident that God is calling us to broaden our "request" to include a little boy that may have HIV. While weeks and months have been passing since our dossier arrived in Ghana, God has been building up this support network all around us for purposes that we didnt even know yet! We got the sense from our caseworker that things will move along quickly. And we are ready.
The first two chapters of the book of James contain some of my favorite scriptures. Reading them again yesterday, the fear and uncertainty that creeps up every now and then was put back in its place as I was comforted in the promise that God is there when we call for help...and that the fullness of life is promised to those whose faith and works align.
We are so excited to share as we learn more and move closer to bringing home the little guy that God choose for us, even before he was conceived! Please continue to pray with us and ask us questions. As a place to start, check out this totally rad video by Project Hopeful:
Thursday, February 7, 2013
What is the greatest need? Part 1
When we began exploring adoption we knew right where we wanted to start. We had been asking around for years, taking inventory of which agencies had the most positive stories and the happiest "clients". Walking into the first information meeting we felt so confident in what we wanted (what we wanted...hmmm) that we didnt even pick up the international program packet!
We stayed after the session was done and got in line to ask the director a few personal follow up questions. It seemed like we waited forever! A couple times I know I thought about just calling back later. I am so glad we stayed. When it was finally our turn, we stumbled through telling her a little bit about ourselves and then we asked THE question: What is the greatest need?
We have asked this question multiple times over the last several months, truly believing that God was leading us to whatever was at the end of that question. We have been led to Africa, and then to Ghana, and then to a little boy. All along the way the most amazing things have happened to confirm that this was God's plan all along.
But then when we stopped asking that question. Somehow we slowly slipped back into what we wanted and what we thought we could 'handle'. Isn't it funny how being just a little bit more comfortable can change your focus?
It seems like at every point along this journey, just when things have gotten comfortable enough for us to take a deep breath and say "wow, ok, well...we never imagined that this is where we would be", God immediately pushes us just a little bit further outside of our comfort zone.
A series of recent events (most definitely not coincidences) caused us to trip over our very own comfort and fall face first back into that question: What is the greatest need?
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
From one little boy to another...
Whoever first said "children should be seen and not heard"?
There are several of these kinds of old-school sayings out there that really bother me. Really...research the history and meaning of some of the things you say regularly and you might be quite surprised (i.e. "rule of thumb")!
Back to my point. My Pastor once said that youth are not our future generation but the current generation. Working with young people now for several years, we have come to realize their unique insight, faith, perception of the world around them and understanding of what they need to be successful. The voices of youth are some of the most powerful and impactful that i have ever heard. The days of youth and children being minimized and unheard are beginning to come to a close. Adults can no longer say that children have nothing meaningful to contribute.
I know this to be a fact for about a hundred reasons, but one in particular. ;)
This young man:
Dylan (Chad's nephew) was asked in one of his classes to develop a unique community service project that he could do in his community. He decided on a project that had multiple benefits. He would clean up his neighborhood, promote recycling and raise money for our adoption- all at the same time.
He (and his parents) spent several afternoons cleaning up trash and cans from their local park and streets. From that, they sorted out what could be recycled and offered to pick up cans and scrap metal (that otherwise would end up in the landfill) from friends, family, neighbors and local businesses. He continued to promote this project long after his teacher had collected his work and given the grade. He proudly donated the $147 he raised to help bring our little guy home!
This young boy, 150 miles away, decided that he had something to contribute. That even he could make an impact on the life of a little boy he has never met...someone half way around the world.
Thank you Dylan! Thank you for allowing God to use you as an important piece of this adoption journey.
There are several of these kinds of old-school sayings out there that really bother me. Really...research the history and meaning of some of the things you say regularly and you might be quite surprised (i.e. "rule of thumb")!
Back to my point. My Pastor once said that youth are not our future generation but the current generation. Working with young people now for several years, we have come to realize their unique insight, faith, perception of the world around them and understanding of what they need to be successful. The voices of youth are some of the most powerful and impactful that i have ever heard. The days of youth and children being minimized and unheard are beginning to come to a close. Adults can no longer say that children have nothing meaningful to contribute.
I know this to be a fact for about a hundred reasons, but one in particular. ;)
This young man:
Dylan (Chad's nephew) was asked in one of his classes to develop a unique community service project that he could do in his community. He decided on a project that had multiple benefits. He would clean up his neighborhood, promote recycling and raise money for our adoption- all at the same time.
He (and his parents) spent several afternoons cleaning up trash and cans from their local park and streets. From that, they sorted out what could be recycled and offered to pick up cans and scrap metal (that otherwise would end up in the landfill) from friends, family, neighbors and local businesses. He continued to promote this project long after his teacher had collected his work and given the grade. He proudly donated the $147 he raised to help bring our little guy home!
This young boy, 150 miles away, decided that he had something to contribute. That even he could make an impact on the life of a little boy he has never met...someone half way around the world.
Thank you Dylan! Thank you for allowing God to use you as an important piece of this adoption journey.
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