I survived: Week 1

So today is Day 9. I know. You weren't sure you would ever read another word typed by me. Shockingly, I am still alive. Even more shocking, I haven't turned into a grouchy, mean, exhausted old lady (riiiight Honey???).

I wonder if anyone has been curious about how this week has been going. And if you are, I am guessing you are also really hoping I am not going to write about how enlightening it has been to see the world at 5 am or how I get the warm and fuzzies as I crawl into bed at 9:30 at night thinking about running in the cold, dark early morning.

Bahahahahahahah

Nope!

You know I prefer the truth. In all its grit and gore.

So here are some of the details (in respect of your time, I cant touch on every aspect of my "plan" but will rotate topics):

Monday: started out like a rock star. Ran, read, prayed, had a breakfast of champions, got to work early and had huge expectations for all the things I was going to accomplish....and that's when we fell apart. Crisis after crisis all morning sucked away all my hopes and dreams for the day. That day at work ranked in the top 5 most stressful and least satisfying days at my current job.

Tuesday: decided to kick Monday in the butt and run again. Chad ran with me. Twisted his ankle half way thru the run and we walked the rest of the way home. Read, prayed, etc. Felt tested (on day 2??? Really, give me a break!!!). That evening I went out with a few friends who noticed my mood and said something that really struck me: just be careful that you don't punish yourself for something that is out of your control. Whoa! Deep. Sharp. So real and true for me (sometimes) but never said so directly. (I could write an entire post on this)

Wednesday: Walked the dogs at 5 am. Laughed at their confusion. Read, prayed, etc. Received some encouragement in unexpected ways. Had a 4 hour "restructure" meeting at work that laid out an entire job change for me. Surprised I didn't feel more stoked about it, considering its everything I asked for. Felt drained and disconnected.

Thursday: Had the day off. Unpaid furlough. Felt like an unproductive, half-member of society. Got a lot accomplished but still felt like something very important to me had been taken away. Got a little angry. Saw God use it anyway to make me available for a conversation about faith with the most unexpected person.

Friday: Up for 2 hours in the middle of the night responding to crisis at work (of course I was on-call too this week!). Struggled to get up. Felt tired. Pulled myself together for the fall cleaning day at work. Got a HUGE boost of energy and hope when we received an update and new pictures of Kwe (So wish I could share with you. He had THE biggest smile!).

Thru all this, I still found something each day to be grateful for and a small success to journal about. I found it a tiny bit easier to ask for and expect my strength to come from God and not myself. I feel something changing...ever so slightly. I am excited to see what's time come. Intrigue is growing over what will happen in these next few months.

There is something awesome about making it through Day 8.

Sure, sticking to your plan for a whole week is amazing and gratifying but once you have made it thru that 8th day you have crossed over into some new level of commitment. One week can be wrapped up nicely with a bow on top but then you have another decision to make...another commitment for another whole week.